Carlos Tevez has put quality time with his daughters on hold to become the most expensive signing in the DT player list, issued today.
The ‘wantaway’ striker, who spurned free plastic surgery on a childhood accident that left his neck scarred for life, shares the top spot with a man who had hairplugs fitted and announced it on the internet.
Frank Lampard takes the wig in midfield, despite his truly awful season for bottom-placed PSV last season. Watch Gareth Bale’s auction value plummet as he no longer picks up clean sheet points.
Vidic is the new JT/Ian Harte as the priciest defender. Joe Hart’s club form makes him first choice ‘keeper.
Managers are reminded that the position in which a player is included on this list, is the position they will play in their Kenna 4-4-2 formation.
View the player list by clicking on the PDF icon on the right, and remember: a Kenna manager is better than the information contained in the green box at the top.
Just one calendar month to go until the start of the new season. Salty.