The quick and crafty exploits of David Silva have Just Put Carles top of the table.
Two goals and some busy assists from the Spanish playmaker have helped JPC to 63 points, but four goals in total from the team may be a mirage hiding problems to come.
“Me cago en la hostia!” said the JPC manager, leaving church. “Cech, Zamora, Gerrard y Coleman are all injured, and Anderson scores so infrequently that his one gol means he won’t get another for months.”
JPC’s Chamakh cuts a lonely figure up front, especially now that Spartak Mogadishu’s midfield has a Cesc Fabregas-sized gap.
“Yarrrrrrr! That latino lilly-livered rogue be only good enough for keel haulin’,” said the Spartak manager, while locking Carlos Tevez in the brig at the club’s Spyglass Hill training facility.
Meanwhile, the Newington Reds manager was quoted as saying he was “upbeat” about Samir Nasri’s future.
However, with Ferdinand injured, Kolo Toure still serving a six-month drugs ban, the team second from bottom and Demba Ba up front, many are saying that optimism is all he’s got.
One club already breaking out the champagne is PSV Mornington, off the bottom of the table for the first time since 21 September last year. “We drink cava, not champagne,” said the PSV manager.
To view more data and individual player scores, download the spreadsheet on the right of the page under ‘Details’.