Anyone would assume that with Robin van Persie in your starting line up, your team would be soaring up the league.
Not the Judean Peoples’ Front boss, who really is struggling to spread his wings in midtable despite the Dutchman’s form.
“If Robin van Persie were a bird of prey, he’s be a fooking barn owl,” asserted the JPF manager in a faux Lancashire accent outside their Nazareth Rec home ground.
“As for the rest of my team they can flock off . Cleverly and Gallas are injured, the defence is sh1te, and why did I buy Shaun Derry?” said the beleagured manager, spitting feathers.
*For those who have no idea what this post is about ask the JPF manager to tell the story at the next transfer window