Touré of Duty

Toyota Hilux
Hitting the road?: Toure torn between war and the Kenna

Title challengers Lokomotiv Leeds face a not-so-happy New Year with the prospect of losing their star midfielder Yaya Touré to the African Cup of Nations.

“Our country needs people like myself and Didier Drogba because there is a war and it’s important we do what we can for our people, but this is also a crucial time of the season,” said Touré, studiously doing keepy ups while seven friends carrying Russian assault rifles beckoned him from the rear of a 1988 Toyota Hilux.

Lokomotiv find themselves in a top three separated by only 18 points going into Christmas week.

“We’ve got plenty of talent in midfield to maintain pressure on FCT and Newington Reds in Yaya’s absence,” said the Lokomotiv manager at the club’s training ground, before diving for cover from another errant Victor Moses goal attempt.

Newington Reds are also set to lose prolific, Senegalese striker Demba Ba to the tournament in Gabon and Equatorial Guinea.

“Baaaaa!” opined the Reds gaffer.

Weekly scores - 13 December 2011
Weekly scores - 13 December 2011

 

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.