Another day in paradise

Points: Steven Gerrard began to warrant his £26.5m price tag

Steven Gerrard emerged as player of the week in a competition that, remarkably, wasn’t a bar brawl.

The Just Put Carles midfielder picked up four assists as the opposition imploded, scoring just as many own goals.

For a side boasting David Silva and Kyle Walker, JPC are having an indifferent season.

“A top-four finish would be a trophy for us,” said a resigned JPC boss, as David Haye burst into the press conference and put on some Phil Collins.

Superfuzz made the best fist of a quiet week.

Striker Luis Suarez missed a penalty, but netted and provided to help them into the top four.

“Top four, bottom four: who cares? We just want to beat Pikey Scum,” said the Fuzz manager.

Weekly scores - 21 February 2012
Weekly scores - 21 February 2012
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.