Steven Gerrard emerged as player of the week in a competition that, remarkably, wasn’t a bar brawl.
The Just Put Carles midfielder picked up four assists as the opposition imploded, scoring just as many own goals.
For a side boasting David Silva and Kyle Walker, JPC are having an indifferent season.
“A top-four finish would be a trophy for us,” said a resigned JPC boss, as David Haye burst into the press conference and put on some Phil Collins.
Superfuzz made the best fist of a quiet week.
Striker Luis Suarez missed a penalty, but netted and provided to help them into the top four.
“Top four, bottom four: who cares? We just want to beat Pikey Scum,” said the Fuzz manager.