Buys and lows

Monte Carlo Casino
Monte Carlo or bust: Headless Chickens bought Pavel Pogrebnyak for £14m

Despite the lack of seating there was no standing on ceremony at Friday’s auction.

Once the bidding was underway 30 players were sold in record time.

The high stakes of the Kenna aside early, managers were left to indulge in the comparatively risk-averse diversion of Leicester Square’s Empire Casino.

“An excellent turnout and a very professional operation indeed. Thank you to managers for making it such a memorable evening,” said the Chairman, trying to piece together events the next day from a wad of crumpled receipts in his wallet.

As is always the case after a transfer window, some new signings have jumped at the opportunity of a fresh start to take the game by the throat, while others…

Smash and grab raid of the window has to go to the Spartak Mogadishu boss, who picked up Papiss Demba Rodney Cisse for £500k.

“Yarrr! He be a fine vassal,” said the Spartak gaffer in a feudal moment.

Full teams and this week’s points will be available later in the week.

Most expensive buys


Ox-Chamberlain, A Young Boys
Pogrebnyak, P Headless Chickens


Sagna, B Lokomotiv Leeds


Cisse, D Pikey Scum


Pienaar, S Bala Rinas
Pennant, J Thieving Magpies


Morison, S Headless Chickens
Graham, D Spartak Mogadishu
Cahill, T Newington Reds


The Yak Bala Rinas


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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.