EDIN Dzeko and Wayne Rooney both netted on the last day of the season to help FC Testiculadew win a historic double.
In his debut Kenna season, the FCT manager picked up the Cannestan Combi Cup on the final day, sweeping aside sibling rival the Headless Chickens boss.
FCT added the cup to their league title, where their dominance and the rest of the table’s complete capitulation led to an official inquiry being opened.
“It’s an itch I’ve been dying to scratch since Christmas. The feeling when you win the Kenna, it’s pretty special, like the smell of mown grass on a spring day or finding a cream that can really alleviate the symptoms,” said a jubilant FCT manager, who’ll scoop a combined prize total of £190, without counting manager of the month awards.
The Lokomotiv Leeds manager, another debutant and the only serious challenger to FCT, took second place 119 points behind.
“The £57 prize will go a long way towards rejuvenating the squad over the summer,” said the Leeds manager, who looks unlikely to be able to retain the services of Victor Moses for the £3m he paid last summer.
Kenna veteran the Newington Reds manager came third, winning £19.
Defending Kenna champion the Young Boys of Kilburn gaffer finished fourth.
FCT become the second club in history to take the double. The only other club to achieve that feat, Vasco De Beauvoir, finished the season just one place above relegation.
“In the end the league got a little predictable, but in many ways this was a fantastic season. Special mention has to the go to the Spartak Mogadishu manager. It all looked lost back in October when he picked up Turkey of the Month, but he’s finished the season just outside the top four – remarkable considering his haphazard bidding technique,” said the Chairman to the gathered masses from the balcony of Kenna HQ.
Everyone else finished mid-table.
January to May’s manager of the month awards, player of the week tallies and Alan Hansen’s coloured performance chart will be published later in the week, to go with the stats from the first half of the season.