Chairman to pick up auction speed

Picks: Chairman will have a confidential list of 200 players

THE CHAIRMAN is to pick players to be introduced to auction if managers are too slow.

Under new rules managers must immediately introduce a player or be overridden by a ‘Chairman’s pick’.

The change has been designed to speed up the team-buying process after significant gaps were left in starting line ups at May’s Emmanuel Olisadebe Euro 2012 auction.

“To put it politely, as league membership has swelled, it’s become increasingly difficult to get all business completed in a timely manner. To be blunt, we’re tired of waiting for half-cut managers to make up their mind about who to introduce,” said the Chairman, putting on his ‘we’re waiting for you‘ face.

A confidential list of 200 players will be compiled by the Chairman before the auction.

Managers will have the choice of picking a player themselves, or leaving it to the Chairman.

A Chairman’s pick will not trigger the Titus Bramble ruling for any managers, unless they make an illegal bid.

In other news, the Kenna has written a strongly-worded email to the London Organising Committee for the Olympic Games after no mention of the league was made in any of London 2012’s pageantry.

“It appeared to us that any Tom, Dick or Harry could carry the torch, so with our tireless work in English sport and promoting London pubs (for not a penny of remuneration, nonetheless) we must have been a dead cert for the opening ceremony.  The call never came.

“You make yourselves out to be this inclusive, public-spirited organisation, but in actual fact you’ve got absolutely no cultural sensitivities. Just look at the Korean flag mix up: you made a real dog’s dinner of that,” read a rambling extract.

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.