FOUR GOALS in three appearances for Spanish sensation Michu has gifted the Sporting Lesbian boss August’s Manager of the Month award.
The £2.5m attacking midfielder from Asturias has inspired the rest of the Lesbian side – apart from the injured Marko Marin, the rest of the team has contributed to their manager’s early success.
“We’re putting in some very good Lesbian performances. It’s really bringing the punters in,” said the Sporting boss, while taking delivery of a fresh batch of ping pong balls and listing the used ones for sale on a discreet, specialist website.
This time last season Just Put Carles were in a similar position, but could only end the season in a bitter lower mid-table dogfight.
The Kenna pump
- £17m midfielder Rafael van der Vaart has moved to Germany. “Scheisse!” said the Peidmonte manager.
- £500k defender Neil Taylor is out for the rest of the season with injury. “We’re not in crisis,” said the Greendale Rockets manager, whose also without Wayne Rooney.
- Despite £35m Robin van Persie’s hat-trick and penalty fail, Still Don’t Know Yet are in trouble up front with £23m Mario Balotelli out with an eye injury. “He’s not looking so good,” quipped the SDKY gaffer.
- £500k Lokomotiv Leeds midfielder Ryan Taylor is out until March with a cruciate injury
- £1m Headless Chicken Andy Carroll is out for a month with a hamstring injury.
- Just over a year after the FC Testiculadew manager signed him for £7m, Maicon has come to England.
League table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | FC Testicluadew | James N | 36 | 3 |
| 2 | Piedmonte | Phil | 29 | 1 |
| 3 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 28 | 2 |
| 4 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 27 | 1 |
| 5 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 24 | 2 |
| 6 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 23 | 3 |
| 7 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 21 | 0 |
| 8 | Just put Carles | Carles | 19 | 0 |
| 9 | Vasco De Beauvoir | Stix | 18 | 1 |
| 10 | Headless Chickens | John N | 17 | 1 |
| 11 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 17 | 1 |
| 12 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 17 | 1 |
| 13 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 16 | 1 |
| 14 | Wandsworth Window Lickers | Will | 16 | 1 |
| 15 | Woking | Mike | 16 | 0 |
| 16 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 15 | 1 |
| 17 | Judean Peoples’ Front | Sholto | 14 | 0 |
| 18 | Greendale Rockets | Stu | 13 | 0 |
| 19 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 10 | 0 |
| 20 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 5 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 15 | van Persie, R – MUN – STR | ||
| Club | Still Don’t Know Yet |
