The Year of the Goatee

FCT manager at the auction
Bearded: The FCT manager’s public image suffered in 2012

DESPITE Luis Suarez and Sergio Aguero notching them up like John Terry’s bedpost, Sporting Lesbian go into the New Year with only a slender lead over the reigning champions.

FC Testiculadew shaved a point from the gap since Boxing Day morning with goals from Jonny Evans, Steven Pienaar and Dimitar Berbatov.

FCT enjoyed the added advantage of Danny Simpson missing Saturday evening’s game, while Lesbian Davide Santon had seven knocked past him and got booked.

Much maligned for the heinous crime of tactical Brambling during May’s Euros auction, the FCT boss hopes to regenerate his public profile in the New Year, as well as becoming the first manager to defend the league title.

“For some reason I’ve earned a bad reputation, but I hope that everyone can leave that unfortunate, summer misunderstanding in 2012 and see that behind the sinister facial hair I’m just a stand-up guy who can get the best from his team in all competitions,” said cad and bounder the FCT manager, while counting out 11 bullets into envelopes addressed to the Sporting Lesbian first team.

At the bottom, Bala Rinas climb out of the drop zone thanks to Gareth Bale and Daniel Agger. Wandsworth Window Lickers sink down most likely because their top scorer this week was Gabriel Obertan.

Looking into 2013, managers’ immediate focus will be on the cup ahead of this week’s fixtures, with every team in with a chance of progressing to the knockout stages.

League table

Week 18 - 31 December 2012
Week 18 – 31 December 2012

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 Pikey Scum Jack 75 6
2 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 59 6
3 PSV Mornington El Pons 59 4
4 FC Testicluadew James N 50 3
5 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 49 3
6 Bala Rinas Lewis 48 4
7 Dynamo Charlton Alex 48 2
8 Vasco De Beauvoir Stix 48 2
9 Just put Carles Carles 45 1
10 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 44 4
11 Piedmonte Phil 43 4
12 Northern Monkeys Hugo 43 3
13 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 43 1
14 Judean Peoples’ Front Sholto 37 0
15 Newington Reds Dudley 36 0
16 Spartak Mogadishu Abdi 33 1
17 Headless Chickens John N 30 1
18 Greendale Rockets Stu 25 1
19 Wandsworth Window Lickers Will 22 1
20 Woking Mike 11 0
Points Player
Player of the week 23 Walcott, T – ARS – MID
Club Pikey Scum
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.