Vasco confirmed as Kenna’s most glorious

Vasco da Gama cigars
Cigar?: Vasco’s two Kenna championships and two Canesten Combi Cups make them the most successful team ever to compete in the league

THE FORMER manager of Vasco De Beauvoir has been announced as the best ever to compete in the Kenna League.

Despite getting sacked in two months ago after leading the side to relegation for the first time in an eight-year career, the Vasco manager tops the charts through winning two league titles and two Canesten Combi Cups since the Kenna was founded in 2005.

The Worcestershire man also holds 11 Manager of the Month (MOTM) awards, the league record.

The Young Boys, FC Testiculadew and Dynamo Temple managers – all with one league championship and one cup apiece – will be mindful that they could take top spot in the all time stats if they scoop the double in the upcoming season.

Mr Terry's Ice Cream
Yes, you can retrain: The Dan Terry Seduction manager took a vocational route out of the Kenna

Kenna managers past and present with at least two campaigns’ experience were ranked against each other on leagues won, cups won, podium finishes and MOTM awards.

The veteran managers of Piedmonte and Newington Reds, the only others apart from the Vasco gaffer to compete in all eight Kenna seasons, find themselves down the rankings with just two podium finishes each and no silverware.

The Dan Terry Seduction manager is statistically the worst manager ever to have entered the Kenna, with three Turkey of the Month wooden spoons and a relegation. He left the league two seasons ago to apply his particular talents with more success elsewhere.

The Devils boss, who led the club between 2006 and 2010, is the highest ranked female manager with one podium finish. A condescending and cringe-worthy corporate awards ceremony involving flowers and chocolates awaits.

The former Vasco manager, who is also the Kenna League chairman, said: “To be fair, if I hadn’t always had a feeling that two championships and two cups meant I was the best ever Kenna manager, I probably wouldn’t have spent so much time working out the damn stats to prove it.”

Rumours abound as to which team the chairman will manage in the new term. Westgreenspor, Eintracht Mind, Getoverit 96 and Total Network Failure have all be linked to the former Vasco boss.

The publication of ‘Jeff’s hall of fame’ comes 25 days before the ninth annual Kenna auction, where managers will gather in a London pub to buy their teams in preparation for the Premier League season.

Jeff's Hall of Fame - 2005 to 2013
Jeff’s Hall of Fame – 2005 to 2013
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.