Piedmonte worry top as boss parties Down Under

Piedmonte manager in Australia
Mental Oriental: As Piedmonte flourish thousands of miles away the team’s manager enjoys more unorthodox pastimes

SAMIR Nasri has urged his manager not to come back from Australia in case a return ruins the club’s fantastic run of form.

The French midfielder scored twice for Piedmonte on the weekend which, added to goals from Shane Long and Steven Gerrard, helped fire the club second in the Kenna League.

The performance cuts Headless Chickens‘ lead to just 12 points, the lowest margin since they went top in mid September.

It is the Piedmonte manager’s best league position since he came second in the Kenna eight years ago, and all while the Englishman tours a former penal colony in the southern hemisphere.

Now his players have demanded their manager stays away from the club, claiming they can do a better job without him.

“The way we’re playing, we hope the boss never comes back. It’s no secret that the boss is a bit of a xenophobe, and I think certainly for me and some of the lads in the dressing room have got a renewed focus from not having to sing Jerusalem before games or being forced to drink a popular brand of weak English lager on Friday nights,” said Nasri, who’s enjoying his best run of form since joining the Kenna in 2008.

It’s not the first time the Piedmonte manager’s British bulldog mentality has been called into question. Overseeing years of steady decline at former club Thieving Magpies, his decision to pick English-only players was thought to have been vindicated just over a year ago. Lasting legacy was short-lived.

If the Piedmonte manager can tear himself away from hostilities in Adelaide for a few moments this weekend, he’ll be hoping his side can get something out of their Canesten Combi Cup group stage match with Hairy Fadjeetas.

Despite goals from Aaron Ramsey and Yoan Gouffran on the weekend, the Fadges slipped to third in the table.

Both managers are yet to win any Kenna league or cup silverware.

Kenna table

Kenna wk 13 - 26 November 2013
Kenna wk 13 – 26 November 2013

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 St. Reatham FC Mike 51 5
2 Piedmonte Phil 50 3
3 Bala Rinas Lewis 35 2
4 Newington Reds Dudley 32 1
5 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 31 3
6 Judean Peoples Front Sholto 31 1
7 Just put Carles Carles 31 1
8 Team Panda Rules OK George 30 1
9 FC Testiculadew James N 29 0
10 Pikey Scum Jack 27 1
11 Headless Chickens John N 24 0
12 Northern Monkeys Hugo 21 0
13 Rapids De Cullons CF Jorge 20 2
14 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 20 1
15 Dynamo Charlton Alex 20 0
16 KS West Green Stix 18 0
17 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 18 0
18 Spartak Mogadishu Abdi 17 0
19 Young Boys Denney 16 0
20 This is Sparta…Prague Rich 13 0
21 PSV Mornington El Pons 11 0
22 Dulwich Red Sox Luke 10 0
23 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 8 0
Points Player
Player of the week 17 Long, S – WBA – STR
Club Piedmonte
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.