Red Arrows to mark anniversary Kenna auction

Red Arrows flypast
Day to remember: An artist’s impression of crowds gathered for the 10th anniversary Kenna auction this August (photo courtesy of the Ministry of Defence)

THE Red Arrows will join this summer’s 10th anniversary Kenna auction celebrations.

In their famous diamond formation, the RAF aerobatic team will stage a flypast outside the pub where the auction is due to take place on Saturday 9 August.

“We’re delighted to announce the Red Arrows will be part of the celebrations for our landmark 10th Kenna football auction,” confirmed the chairman today at a press conference in the saloon bar of the King’s Arms, Waterloo.

“The motto of the Red Arrows is ‘eclat’ or excellence, and this mutual aspiration for the highest standards between our organisations is surely the reason why they’ll agree to mark this culmination of two cornerstones of British society: football and pubs.

“The league is the envy of football and pub fans the world over. With membership growing in the league each year, we can be certain this summer’s event will see up to 25 managers competing for the prize.”

Flypast request
Confident: The chairman waved a copy of the flypast request to the media

Initial respect from assembled journalists was quickly overtaken by scepticism when it emerged the chairman had only just faxed off the Red Arrows flypast request to the Ministry of Defence in the last 10 minutes.

“Of course, we haven’t heard back from the RAF yet. They’re busy playing cricket on an airfield or getting their batman to lay out formal evening wear, but we’ve made a watertight request well ahead of the 31 March deadline.

“There’s not a doubt in my mind the squadron leader or bomber command, or whoever the handlebar moustache is in charge of these things, will rubber stamp the request and give our 10th Kenna auction the sense of occasion it deserves.”

The chairman refused to confirm the exact location of the auction since it was ‘now a matter of national security’.

Founded by eight managers in The Old Bank of England on Fleet Street in August 2005, the Kenna has occupied many of London’s pubs since, growing in both size and prestige.

Next week will see this season’s second transfer window, where managers release their unwanted players and then head to the pub to buy replacements at auction.

Kenna table

Kenna table week 21 - 28 January 2014
Kenna table week 21 – 28 January 2014

Weekly scores





KS West Green Stix   33    3 


This is Sparta…Prague Rich   29    0


Sporting Lesbian Ben M   28    2 


Newington Reds Dudley   26    0 


Pikey Scum Jack   20    1 


Headless Chickens John N   20    0 


Dulwich Red Sox Luke   17    1 


FC Testiculadew James N   17    0 


PSV Mornington El Pons   16    1 


Still Don’t Know Yet Pete   16    0 


Team Panda Rules OK George   14    2 


Spartak Mogadishu Abdi   14    1 


Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden   14    0


Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S   13    2 


Northern Monkeys Hugo    13    0 


Judean Peoples Front Sholto   12    0 


Bala Rinas Lewis   11    0 


St. Reatham FC Mike    10    1 


Piedmonte Phil   9    0 


Dynamo Charlton Alex   7    0 


Just put Carles Carles   3    0 


Young Boys Denney   2    0 


Rapids De Cullons CF Jorge   -00    0 


Player of the week


Aguero, S – MCY – STR


KS West Green
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.