RAZVAN Rat is one of eleven players likely to be jettisoned by his club tomorrow as Kenna League managers prepare for this Friday’s transfer window.
The Romanian defender was signed by Dynamo Charlton in August for £3m, but will surely be given the heave ho having been told to scurry away from the Premier League last week.
Another disappointed rat will be the Dulwich Red Sox manager, who sees his £24m striker Dimitar Berbatov slouch off to the French Riviera.
The Still Don’t Know Yet manager was also given plenty more to complain about as the £20m pair of Yohan Cabaye and Danny Graham went their separate ways.
Floundering at 16th in the Kenna table, the under-pressure manager is the subject of an investigation from the league’s manager experiences department after being caught up in a vicious Twitter rant at the chairman.
— Peter Ball (@peterball01) January 31, 2014
Meanwhile, four managers find themselves Titus Bramble tied – they now have two players from the same Premier League club and must release one tomorrow.
FC Testiculadew will surely keep Juan Mata over Rafael, but three other managers find some pretty tough choices to make.
As well as a rat, or lack of a rat, problem, the Dynamo manager has the humdinger of picking between striker Peter Odemwingie and defender Erik Pieters, now both plying their trade in the potteries.
Anders Brievik lookalike the Judean Peoples’ Front manager must choose between goalkeeper Allan McGregor or striker Nikica Jelavic. McGregor’s red card makes it likely the Croat will stay.
Bottom-of-the-table PSV Mornington, now being managed by a cardboard cut out of Pep Guardiola since the former boss was sacked just before Christmas, will probably keep regular starter Leroy ‘The Bouncer’ Fer over a crocked Jonas Gutierrez.
Dimitar Berbatov (£24m) – Dulwich Red Sox
Yohan Cabaye (£11), Danny Graham (£9m) – Still Don’t Know Yet
Bryan Ruiz (£14m) – KS West Green
Razvan Rat (£3m) – Dynamo Charlton
Philipe Senderos (£2m) – Pikey Scum
Danny Osvaldo (£1.5m) – Newington Green
FC Testiculadew – Juan Mata or Rafael
PSV Mornington – Jonas Gutierrez or Leroy Fer
Dynamo Charlton – Peter Odemwingie or Erik Pieters
Judean Peoples’ Front – Allan McGregor or Nikica Jelavic