Northern Monkeys manager admits to concerns about Eto’o and Borini

Samuel Eto'o
Up yours: Samuel Eto’o had a clear message in response to his manager’s comments (credit: Show Racism the Red Card)

NORTHERN Monkeys’ last 16 cup draw at Rapids De Cullons was overshadowed this week by an extraordinary row over a series of unguarded but highly disparaging remarks by the manager about the club’s strikers.

The Northern Monkeys boss was recorded by the French television company Canal Plus in what he thought was a private conversation with the owner of a Swiss Toblerone, thought to be the St Reatham FC manager.

“I have a team but no striker,” said the Monkeys manager. “The problem at Northern Monkeys is that we are lacking a goalscorer. I have one [Samuel Eto’o] but he is 32, possibly 35, who knows?”

The remark about Eto’o is understood to be a reference to the supposed doubt about the true age of some African players.

The other Northern Monkeys striker Fabio Borini was not mentioned in the same sentence as the word ‘goalscorer’.

The club has not disputed the authenticity of the manager’s comments but are adamant that they were supposed to be light-hearted and not meant for broadcast or publication.

Northern Monkeys have scored 27 goals this season, one less than their Canesten Combi Cup opponents Rapids De Cullon. The two sides meet in the first leg of their last 16 tie this weekend.

In a first for world football, the ties were drawn this Wednesday evening on a moving train to an audience of a couple of cans of lager.

Canesten Combi Cup last 16 fixtures

Rapids De Cullons v Northern Monkeys

Dynamo Charlton v Newington Reds

St Reatham FC v Lokomotiv Leeds

Team Panda Rules OK v Bala Rinas

Judean Peoples’ Front v KS West Green

Headless Chickens v Spartak Mogadishu

FC Testiculadew v This is Sparta…Prague

PSV Mornington v Hairy Fadjeetas

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.