Come fly with Jeff

Air hostess
Expecting to find a black box: It’s at this time of the season many Kenna managers struggle to explain exactly where their trophy chances have disappeared (photo courtesy of Susan Uyanguren)

ODDS on FC Testiculadew claiming their second Kenna League title dropped faster than a Malaysia Airlines flight this weekend as the club extended their lead at the top of the table.

Even though as they hurtled towards earth at terminal velocity passengers of MH370 would have seen FCT striker Edin Dzeko’s fluffed goalmouth effort going the other way, a masterful display from Mesut Ozil and assists from Kevin Mirallas and Juan Mata saw the chasing pack drop even further off the radar.

What everyone hoped would remain the most open Kenna season in recent times has veered dramatically off course. Managers can only pray it doesn’t turn into a repeat of this time two years ago, when FCT’s dominance left the rest of league bobbing around helpless in the dark ocean, watching the wreckage of their title challenge sink into the depths and wondering whether the pathetic light given off by their life jackets can be seen by Vietnamese search and rescue pilots in fake Ray Bans.

Down in Davey Jones’ locker, Somali-managed Spartak Mogadishu climbed one place simply because their performance was only slightly less dismal than Dulwich Red Sox.

His ongoing silent protest over changes to league rules spelt no comment from the DRS manager on his team’s steady decline from mid-table to the relegation zone. Analysts believe a sponsored silence would have been a sure fire way for the manager to raise much-needed transfer funds.

Looking ahead to the weekend’s Canesten Combi Cup last 16 fixtures, four goals shipped at home in the first leg for both Judean Peoples’ Front and Team Panda Rules OK mean it’ll take a lot more than a pair of fake passports for them to get into the quarter finals.

Kenna table

Kenna table week 27 - 11 March 2014
Kenna table week 27 – 11 March 2014

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 Rapids De Cullons CF Jorge 31 3
2 Team Panda Rules OK George 30 3
3 FC Testiculadew James N 29 1
4 KS West Green Stix 29 1
5 Bala Rinas Lewis 25 2
6 Just put Carles Carles 23 1
7 Young Boys Denney 23 1
8 Northern Monkeys Hugo 21 1
9 St. Reatham FC Mike 19 1
10 Judean Peoples Front Sholto 18 1
11 This is Sparta…Prague Rich 18 1
12 Dynamo Charlton Alex 17 0
13 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 16 0
14 Piedmonte Phil 15 1
15 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 14 0
16 Newington Reds Dudley 12 0
17 Pikey Scum Jack 11 0
18 Spartak Mogadishu Abdi 11 0
19 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 9 1
20 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 9 0
21 Headless Chickens John N 7 0
22 Dulwich Red Sox Luke 6 0
23 PSV Mornington El Pons 5 0
Points Player
Player of the week 12 Caulker, S – CAR – DEF
Club Rapids De Cullons CF
Share Button

Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.

2 thoughts on “Come fly with Jeff”

Comments are closed.