WAY past midday on 1 April the FC Testiculadew manager is still making fools of the rest of the Kenna League.
Goals from Kevin Mirallas, Juan Mata and a brace from Edin Dzeko saw the sinister, handwringing cackle of the Bramble Baron move one step closer to an unprecedented second Kenna double.
Sweeping aside bottom-of-the-table PSV Mornington 5-2 in the Canesten Combi Cup quarter final, the FCT manager has set up a juicy semi final against his sibling at Headless Chickens. The tie is a replay of the May 2012 final FCT won to claim the league and cup double.
Despite a midfield boasting convicted child murderer Stuart Hazell, Northern Monkeys clinched their tie to set up a semi final with St Reatham FC. Kenna HQ detractors will be pleased to see them move ahead at the expense of two committee members.
The free-scoring form of Peter Odemwingie means second-placed Piedmonte are still in with an outside chance of challenging for the title, but with seven weeks left in the season the trophyless manager is fast running out of time.
The door is slightly ajar for Judean Peoples’ Front too. The Anders Breivik lookalike manager’s team stayed in the race with a double from Jay Rodriguez.
The rest of the league’s top half can only hope to secure the Wenger Trophy.
Meanwhile, it looks like the writing’s on the wall for Spartak Mogadishu, Dulwich Red Sox and PSV Mornington – Pussy Riot to the FCT manager’s Vladimir Putin.
Kenna table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Just put Carles | Carles | 53 | 2 |
| 2 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 53 | 2 |
| 3 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 52 | 2 |
| 4 | St. Reatham FC | Mike | 50 | 2 |
| 5 | FC Testiculadew | James N | 48 | 4 |
| 6 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 44 | 1 |
| 7 | Team Panda Rules OK | George | 44 | 1 |
| 8 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 42 | 2 |
| 9 | Piedmonte | Phil | 41 | 3 |
| 10 | Judean Peoples Front | Sholto | 39 | 4 |
| 11 | Headless Chickens | John N | 34 | 1 |
| 12 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 32 | 0 |
| 13 | KS West Green | Stix | 29 | 0 |
| 14 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 28 | 2 |
| 15 | Rapids De Cullons CF | Jorge | 27 | 3 |
| 16 | Dulwich Red Sox | Luke | 27 | 1 |
| 17 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 27 | 1 |
| 18 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 26 | 0 |
| 19 | Young Boys | Denney | 26 | 0 |
| 20 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 25 | 2 |
| 21 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 23 | 1 |
| 22 | This is Sparta…Prague | Rich | 21 | 1 |
| 23 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 14 | 1 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 17 | Dzeko, E – MCY – STR | ||
| Club | FC Testiculadew |
