Where’s Neymar? manager threatens legal action

Out for the bean count: The Where’s Neymar? manager’s lost the player after it turned out his calculations were out by one (photo: An&)

ORGANISERS of the Emerson World Cup have received a ‘see you in court’ letter which could overshadow events on the pitch in Brazil.

The manager of Where’s Neymar? – who controversially lost the Brazilian player under a record-breaking £75m Titus Bramble forfeit at Thursday night’s auction – has sent a communication to Kenna HQ in a feeble attempt to claim points scored before his blunder.

The first player sold in the auction for the Kenna’s highest ever fee, Neymar went on to score two goals before the Where’s Neymar? manager messed up his calculations and overspent his budget.

The chairman snapped up the attacker for a £7.5m, a tenth of the initial cost.

In an email to Kenna HQ, dated yesterday and leaked today, the Where’s Neymar? manager said: “You should expect a legal challenge with regards to the points gained by Neymar last night, as when they were scored he was, unquestionably, a Where’s Neymar? player.

“Furthermore, we believe it is unprecedented in the Kenna’s illustrious history, that a manger is awarded points already scored before the player is a actually signed, further strengthening the Where’s Neymar? claim to all points incurred by the player in question.”

Kenna HQ lawyers have dismissed the claim as ‘sour grapes’ and pointed to the manager’s poor addition and mathematical skills.

The chairman said: “Where’s Neymar?? His team should be called Where’s Your Abacus?

“The manager is simply trying to deflect attention away from the fact he auctioned poorly and needs a calculator.

“He’s always claimed he is a Welshman, yet he turns up three hours late wearing a Belgium shirt and makes a very convincing case of his inability to manage a football team, numbers or a wardrobe.”

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.