Workers on overtime to get Emerson venue ready

Mosque carpet
Giving it every chintz: Work is going on through the night to get the Emerson World Cup auction venue ready on time (photo: Loupiote)

KENNA chiefs are under fire today after images emerged apparently showing the ‘shocking’ state of upholstery in the venue for tomorrow evening’s World Cup auction.

Despite assurances from the chairman that the Clerkenwell site is fully functional, it’s believed that work is not complete. According to witnesses naked power cables are visible in the tap room, Billy the Singing Fish is still without batteries and the promised Dyson Airblade has yet to make an appearance in the gents.

But it is the soft furnishings that will most alarm managers who are due to descend on the purpose built public house in 24 hours time. Threadbare cushions, beer stained chair covers and cigarette burns – long thought to be a thing of the past in an English establishment – litter the carpet.

Speaking to reporters outside Kenna HQ and wearing an off-the-peg Armani suit, the chairman said: “I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Every penny available has been spent on securing the most fit-for-purpose venue for the World Cup auction.

“I’m confident that our choice represents the ideals of the Kenna as well as money well spent – every last penny if you’re taking notes.”

The 2014 Emerson World Cup auction starts at 6.30pm tonight and is due to live blogged on

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.