Tactical Brambler completes world domination

Death Star
Death Star: Even with Alan Dzagoev the Testiculadew Land manager built an impenetrable team

WHEN the dust finally settles on a nail-biting Emerson World Cup in Brazil everyone will be asking themselves the same question: how can he be stopped?

Whether managing domestically in the Kenna League or at international tournaments, whether he’s present at the auction tactical Brambling or calling up remotely on WhatsApp in a tactical no show, even when he signs complete turkeys like Alan Dzagoev or Adel Taarabt, the manager in charge of the Testiculadew franchise cannot stop winning.

On Sunday evening a late goal from FadjeetaCabana‘s Mario Götze handed the Emerson World Cup to Testiculadew Land.

Until then a penalty shootout had looked likely. Up would have stepped Sergio Romero, in goal for second-placed Botafogo Pirates FC. Three penalty saves could have taken the booty to Somalia.

In the end the Testicualdew Land victory was inevitable. Daley Blind had already scored a goal in the third place play off, and a typically tight World Cup final played right into his hands.

Not even the abstract Emerson Unfair Play award was far away from the Testiculadew manager’s grasp. In theory his side could have picked up a red and yellow card in the final, lifted the inaugural award and still won the tournament.

As it is, Los Rojos almost lived up to their name with a single sending off for Claudio Marchisio and six cautions.

Burn out is a familiar phrase when talking of the international and domestic game. Managers have just 24 days to prepare for the 10th pre-season Kenna auction.

Can they raise their game to challenge the Tactical Brambler?

Emerson table – final standings

Emerson World Cup 2014 - final standings
Emerson World Cup 2014 – final standings
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.