Jutting ahead

Wan Chai at night
High rise: The imperious form of Alexis Sanchez, Graziano Pelle and Raheem Sterling have put Sporting Lesbian top of the league (photo: Cokedragon)

SIGNING Ahmed Elmohamady at a transfer window can only mean a Kenna manager has run out of one of two things: money or ideas.

The Egyptian winger rarely finds the net but his regular starting berth and intermittent assists can make him the panic buy of choice late in the evening when the pints have ceased to taste.

For the Sporting Lesbian manager the transfer night acquisitions of Elmohamady and Nathan Dyer may have stunted a promising follow up to his 2013 championship, but like that season a South American strikeforce continue to carry the can the club.

While Elmohamady has plodded through the last three weeks for Lesbians exactly like he’s plodded through English football for the last four years, Graziano Pelle and Alexis Sanchez have exploded all over the Kenna campaign just like Sergio Aguero and Luis Suarez did for the Lesbians two years ago.

Fast, ruthless and squat, Sanchez (60 points) in particular looks like he was made for a wet Tuesday night in Stoke. Only Pelle has done more (61 points) to put Lesbians top of the league.

In response, the Bala Rinas manager’s decision not to tinker with his side at the window appears to have backfired.

Like Elmohamady, Bala striker Marouane Chamakh has managed but one assist since the window, and although it came last night it was not enough to stop Sporting Lesbian easing away from the pack.

The rotting corpses of two sex workers, a murder weapon found on the crime scene and a lead suspect calling himself in to authorities meant only the Hong Kong police had an easier time of it this weekend.

Kenna table

Kenna week 10 - 4 November 2014
Kenna week 10 – 4 November 2014

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 36 2
2 St Reatham FC Mike 36 2
3 KS West Green Stix 36 2
4 Cowley Casuals Stu 31 0
5 Piedmonte Phil 29 1
6 Young Boys Denney 27 2
7 Walthamstow Reds Dudley 27 0
8 Pikey Scum Jack 27 0
9 Headless Chickens John N 25 0
10 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 21 1
11 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 21 1
12 Dynamo Charlton Alex 21 0
13 Team Panda Rules OK George 21 0
14 Judean People’s Front Sholto 19 1
15 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 19 0
16 Bala Rinas Lewis 16 0
17 FC Tescticuladew James N 15 0
18 Just Put Carles Carles 13 1
19 Fat Ladies Ted 13 0
20 Hoxton Pirates Abdi 7 0
Points Player
Player of the week 14 Chambers, C – ARS – DEF
Club KS West Green
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.