Kun Bramble blunder spells grim forecast

Fred Talbot Weather Map


Tumbleweed: The KS West Green manager said in a press conference this morning Talbot had the delicate touch he was looking for up front.

FRED ‘The Weatherman’ Talbot has joined KS West Green for the rest of the season after it turned out the manager forfeit Sergio Aguero in last weekend’s transfer window.

The chairman, who manages Klub Sportowej West Green, lost the South American forward after signing defender John Stones and striker Ayoze Peres for a combined fee of £14m last Saturday. It wasn’t discovered until a few days later the side had overspent his remaining budget by £3.5m.

Colourful jumper and man-made waterway fan Talbot was retrospectively drafted into the side as a striker under the Titus Bramble forfeit ruling.

This is the second time the chairman has waved cheerio to the Argentine talisman. When manager of Vasco De Beauvoir his side were made to start the 2012 campaign with wayward brawler Leeroy Lita in attack after losing Aguero ‘on a Bramble’ late in the auction.

“Nooooooooooooooooo!” said the chairman from behind a bottle of Red Label this morning. “It’s happened again! I started the window with £10.5m in the war chest and bought [John] Stones for what I thought was a couple of million.

“Somehow I then got locked in a bidding war for [Ayoze] Peres and ended up paying £8m. It wasn’t until charts and graphs sent through the updated teams a couple of days later I spotted I’d paid £6m for Stones. Being a model of integrity for the league I owned up straight away.”

Asked about KS West Green’s new acquisition in attack the chairman was remarkably upbeat.

“Fred’s a very personable guy and has already bonded really well with everyone at the club, particularly the youth team, who have all been to see his telescope. Once his CRB check comes through he’s taking them all up the canal.

“With the morale Talbot brings to the camp, even without Kun we’ll be pushing for a top four finish. I cannot see how things can go wrong.”

Vasco De Beauvoir were relegated from the Kenna League in 2012-13.

Full scores are available at The Rub.

Kenna table – week 24 out of 37

Kenna week 24 - 17 February 2015
Kenna week 24 – 17 February 2015

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 Cowley Casuals Stu 66 2
2 Walthamstow Reds Dudley 54 4
3 Judean People’s Front Sholto 48 2
4 KS West Green Stix 48 0
5 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 41 2
6 Dynamo Charlton Alex 39 1
7 Pikey Scum Jack 38 2
8 Young Boys Denney 36 1
9 Team Panda Rules OK George 35 4
10 FC Tescticuladew James N 35 2
11 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 33 0
12 Headless Chickens John N 31 1
13 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 30 0
14 Bala Rinas Lewis 28 0
15 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 23 1
16 Piedmonte Phil 21 1
17 St Reatham FC Mike 21 0
18 Fat Ladies Ted 18 2
19 Hoxton Pirates Abdi 16 1
20 Just Put Carles Carles 10 0
Points Player
Player of the week 24 Ideye, B – WBA – STR
Club Unsigned
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.