On the eastern edge of the Andaman Sea, a tropical island sustains one of earth’s most fascinating species.
The local population is supplemented each winter by visitors from the northern hemisphere. A small group of these migrants are male and female couples, sometimes accompanied by infant offspring, but they are far outnumbered by their fellow Europeans: the Bridget Jones.
Occasionally roaming the island in pairs or groups of four, the Bridget Jones is more commonly found in threes.
Whether in public feeding areas or basking in the afternoon sun on a sandy coastline, these trios are instantly recognisable by their sensible tanning practices and somber social interaction.
It is thought their downturned demeanour stems from having reached the twilight of their prime with a catalogue of failed attempts at mating both in their domestic habitat and their travels.
Available male migrants on the island are deemed unsuitable by the Bridget Jones. Older, overweight and observed to be operating alone, the male appears wholly interested by members of the local populous considered far too young to be socially acceptable in their home environment.
Even deep into happy hour, spirits among the groups of Bridget Jones appear unnaturally low despite the warm climate and their lean physique.
Return flights to Thailand start at £450.
Canesten Combi Cup last 16 – first leg results
St Reatham FC 0 – 0 Pikey Scum
Still Don’t Know Yet 1 – 1Team Panda Rules OK
Bala Rinas 0 – 3 Walthamstow Reds
Cowley Casuals 0 – 0 Headless Chickens
Dynamo Charlton 0 – 0 Lokomotiv Leeds
Just Put Carles 0 – 0 Young Boys
Sporting Lesbian 0 – 2 FC Testiculadew
Piedmonte 1 – 1 Hairy Fadjeetas
Weekly scores and Kenna table
