No way, Pedro!


GLOATING was inevitable.

Having signed Pedro while rumours of his move to England hovered over the auction, the Young Boys manager was thrilled to see the Spanish forward pick up a goal and assist in his first game.

“And Pedro scores…” he tweeted above the din of the chairman cursing his decision to sign Wesley Sneijder a few years ago when everyone had said it was a done deal.

It’s the first time since the Sneijder incident a Kenna manager has seen such instant success buying a player hors d’oeuvre. But second place in the Kenna after three weeks masks concerns at Young Boys.

Many believed that with Pedro on the pitch, defender John Terry got himself sent off in deference to the Titus Bramble ruling. It turns out the former England captain had other motives.

A few minutes after seeing red, Terry appeared in the Young Boys wags section of the stand and asked Pedro’s wife if he could park ‘ [my] open-top bus up [your] King’s Road’.

Eager to extinguish murmurs this was some sort of club initiation for players’ wives, the Young Boys manager held an informal inquiry into the matter, calling forward those connected with the club to give evidence.

The plan backfired when striker Diafra Sakho was found to be intimidating witnesses.

Kenna table – week three

Kenna table - week 3 - 25 August 2015
Kenna table – week 3 – 25 August 2015

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 Dynamo Charlton Alex 52 2
2 Young Boys Andrew D 50 2
3 Thieving Magpies Phil 36 3
4 Team Panda George 32 1
5 Newington Reds Ben D 28 1
6 Carles Carles 28 0
7 Headless Chickens John N 26 1
8 KS West Green Stix 25 1
9 Judean People’s Front Sholto 25 1
10 Cowley Casuals Stu 25 0
11 Northern Monkeys Hugo 23 0
12 Bala Rinas Lewis 20 0
13 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 20 0
14 Uncertain Pete B 16 0
15 Pikey Scum Jack 14 1
16 FC Tescticuladew James N 14 0
17 ISIL Abdi 10 0
18 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 8 0
19 Wandsworth Network Solutions Will 8 0
Points Player
Player of the week 17 Wilson, C – BOU – STR
Club Thieving Magpies
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.