NEXT Friday heralds the Kenna League’s second and last transfer window of the season.
A typically scratchy affair, without a host of available players, a handful of footballers will command eye-watering sums of Kenna club war chests for showing even the briefest hint of form.
Here are eight of the most likely candidates.
1. Charlie Austin, Southampton striker
Despite rumours he spends more time in pubs than the Kenna chairman, Austin has not only managed to get into league but also scored a goal on the weekend. Albeit completely unmarked against an opposition defence struggling for form and consistency, bids will be readied from all corners of the Kenna management. Except, that is, for the Walthamstow Reds boss, who bought Austin on the basis of tittle tattle in August only to release him again at the October window when a move didn’t materialise. Kenna regulations prevent the Reds manager buying back Austin this season, so he’ll be a spectator while others court the striker.
2. Jermian Defoe, Sunderland striker
Given the choice of releasing Defoe for the promise of Anthony Martial in early October, many would have followed the path of the cash-rich Dynamo Charlton manager. Sadly for the south London outfit the Frenchman’s form has evaporated while Kenna veteran Defoe has scored five goals in the last five games.
3. Delle Ali, Tottenham midfielder
A sumptuous strike on the Saturday, and week-in-week-out appearances of guile and creativity would make one think this midfielder was a household name. Ali’s now scored more points this season than Eric Lamela, Nacer Chadli and Moussa Dembele. Will Tottenham midfielders flood the market to make way next Friday?
4. Adam Johnson, Sunderland midfielder
Eager to disassociate himself from the consequences of inappropriately touching a schoolgirl, the Wandsworth Network Solutions manager handed Adam Johnson his P45 at the October window to the sound of terrace speculation about the nature and geography of his alleged offences. Since then the winger has gone on provide nine assists and occupy a central midfield creative role. Are any Kenna managers desperate enough to sign Johnson just five days before his appointed trial date? Yes. Yes, they are.
5. Claude Makalele
Of course, the diminutive Frenchman no longer patrols the outskirts of Kenna auctions, but his patented role certainly does. The likes of Southampton’s Steven Davis, Sunderland’s Yann M’Vila, Norwich’s Jonny Howson and Aston Villa’s Idrissa Gueye don’t create many chances, let alone score, but they have all made at least 20 full appearances this season. While not appealing to the hope of flair on a balmy August afternoon, on a cold night February these players are the chance to fill those non-scoring gaps a manager’s midfield.
6. Wes Morgan
A defender and club captain who has started almost every game and whose side are top of the Premier League. A Kenna manager must have snaffled Morgan already.
7. Enner Valencia
This compact Ecuadorian burst into Kenna consciousness in the 2014 Emerson World Cup with his explosive and direct displays for his country. He was having a stop-start sort of season but has come alive to score four goals in the last two games. Anyone in the Young Boys manager’s technical area would surely be considering the release of Diafra Sakho to make way.
8. Andros Townsend
No, not really. This is just in here as a joke. The last time someone signed ‘Dros’ Townsend in the February window they forfeit a debut Kenna League title. Literally.
Kenna table – week 22
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Wandsworth Network Solutions | Will | 58 | 2 |
| 2 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 57 | 4 |
| 3 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 48 | 4 |
| 4 | Cowley Casuals | Stu | 44 | 2 |
| 5 | Young Boys | Andrew D | 35 | 0 |
| 6 | KS West Green | Stix | 34 | 3 |
| 7 | Team Panda | George | 34 | 1 |
| 8 | Carles | Carles | 31 | 2 |
| 9 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 28 | 0 |
| 10 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 28 | 0 |
| 11 | Headless Chickens | John N | 27 | 2 |
| 12 | Uncertain | Pete B | 27 | 1 |
| 13 | ISIL | Abdi | 26 | 0 |
| 14 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 25 | 1 |
| 15 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 23 | 1 |
| 16 | FC Tescticuladew | James N | 21 | 0 |
| 17 | Newington Reds | Ben D | 18 | 0 |
| 18 | Judean People’s Front | Sholto | 16 | 0 |
| 19 | Thieving Magpies | Phil | 13 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 17 | Dawson, C – WBA – DEF | ||
| Club | Young Boys |
