Fadges faced with Gordian Knot

Alexander the Great statue credit Tomislav Kordaso

ALEXANDER the Great overcame such a problem with ease.

When presented with the Gordian Knot in the Fourth Century BC, the Macedonian king simply sliced through it with his sword. They called it the ‘Alexandrian Solution’.

Having moved to the former kingdom of the Argead dynasty earlier this year, the Hairy Fadjeetas manager will hope to take that inspiration from their most famous monarch.

No stranger to life in the bottom half of the Kenna – the side have finished between 9th and 15th for the last four seasons – the Fadges boss not only finds himself in the unfamiliar territory of the Balkans, but also the relegation zone.

Fadjeetas dropped into the bottom three shortly after the manager’s move to Skopje in February to ‘influence key decision makers’.

Other than handful of ex-pat regulars at St Patrick’s Irish Pub on the banks of the Vardar and the nightshift in Key Dimitar Vlahov street where it’s advised one checks for teeth prior to striking a deal, it’s uncertain who exactly the manager has been influencing.

He certainly hasn’t been having a positive effect on his first eleven.

October transfer window buy Jamie Vardy and the odd spark from Nacer Chadli have failed to turn the fortunes of a side crippled with injury and dissatisfaction.

Kurt Zouma, Fabrico Coloccini and Raheem Sterling are three players who could significantly reduce the 37-point gap to safety, but all are out through injury.

Early in the campaign the manager’s choice of Saido Berahino was pinpointed as folly, and his decision to stick with the striker has only returned seven goals and three assists.

Dejan Lovern and Angel Rangel are both inconsistent compared to their form of previous seasons. When he does play, Kevin Mirallas spends most of the time sulking on the wing.

Brad Guzan has conceded the most goals (55) of any ‘keeper this term, and 13 more than the second leakiest gloveman Lukasz Fabianski of Team Panda.

All of which leave the Fadges boss in front of a tangled bit of Phrygian rope hopelessly looking for a sharp sword…and finding Wes Hoolahan.

Narcozep Cup – semi final first leg this weekend

Pikey Scum v Lokomotiv Leeds
Walthamstow Reds v Dynamo Charlton

Kenna table – week 31

Kenna table - week 31 - 5 April 2016
Kenna table – week 31 – 5 April 2016

Weekly scores

Manager Points Goals
1 FC Tescticuladew James N 46 3
2 Dynamo Charlton Alex 42 3
3 Newington Reds Ben D 42 1
4 KS West Green Stix 36 1
5 Carles Carles 34 2
6 Bala Rinas Lewis 33 1
7 Young Boys Andrew D 32 0
8 Wandsworth Network Solutions Will 23 0
9 Judean People’s Front Sholto 21 0
10 Pikey Scum Jack 19 1
11 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 18 1
12 Thieving Magpies Phil 18 0
13 Northern Monkeys Hugo 15 0
14 Cowley Casuals Stu 13 0
15 ISIL Abdi 13 0
16 Headless Chickens John N 12 0
17 Uncertain Pete B 10 0
18 Team Panda George 9 0
19 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 9 0
Points Player
Player of the week 15 Pedro – CHE – MID
Club Unsigned
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.