WILLIAM Gallas once made the infamous threat to pump balls into his own net unless his transfer request was granted.
It would take Chris Smalling to perform a similar stunt 12 times on Saturday for Young Boys to be denied their second Kenna League championship by Walthamstow Reds.
Coming into the last couple of weeks of the season with an outside chance of winning the double, Reds also lost their Narcozep Cup final with Pikey Scum by three points.
“F*ck b0ll0cking b0ll0cks,” said the Reds manager outside the club’s ground The Old Dog Track.
Both Young Boys and Pikey Scum win their respective silverware for the second successive time.
Young Boys won their maiden league title in 2011. Pikey Scum won the Canesten Combi Cup in 2008.
“If I was coming to the pub tonight to watch the Europa League final I would mainly be gloating,” said the Young Boys manager, silently concerned about Smalling’s form after a second own goal of the campaign last night.
The treasurer looks set to take third place in the league, overcoming his deep misgivings of his August auction second’s policy.
With one match remaining of the season, most managers have already turned to preparations for the Jean-Alain Boumsong Euros auction next month.
Narcozep Cup final – result
Walthamstow Reds 23 – 26 Pikey Scum
Pikey Scum win the Narcozep Cup
Kenna League table – week 37
Full scores available from The Rub.
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Young Boys | Andrew D | 40 | 2 |
| 2 | Uncertain | Pete B | 40 | 2 |
| 3 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 29 | 3 |
| 4 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 29 | 3 |
| 5 | KS West Green | Stix | 28 | 1 |
| 6 | Team Panda | George | 26 | 4 |
| 7 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 26 | 1 |
| 8 | Cowley Casuals | Stu | 25 | 2 |
| 9 | Carles | Carles | 25 | 1 |
| 10 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 24 | 0 |
| 11 | Newington Reds | Ben D | 23 | 0 |
| 12 | Wandsworth Network Solutions | Will | 20 | 1 |
| 13 | Thieving Magpies | Phil | 17 | 0 |
| 14 | Headless Chickens | John N | 14 | 1 |
| 15 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 13 | 1 |
| 16 | ISIL | Abdi | 13 | 0 |
| 17 | FC Tescticuladew | James N | 12 | 0 |
| 18 | Judean People’s Front | Sholto | 11 | 0 |
| 19 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 9 | 1 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 17 | Giroud, O – ARS – STR | ||
| Club | Team Panda |
