A Catalan, a Pole and a Portuguese walk into a fantasy football team and go top of the Boumsong.
It’s no joke. Up Yours Delors are leaders after the first round of matches thanks to a goal and clean sheet from Gerard Pique, a clean sheet from Kamil Glik and a goal from Nani.
The joke is the handful of Russians darkening the tournament.
Quite how a weekend city break in Marseilles with balaclavas ‘beats’ 20 years of English hooliganism being the scourge of international football is unclear.
It also seems strange to spend every day from teenage life training in martial arts only to use it on a bunch of guys on the verge of type two diabetes who have been drinking all day.
The bad news is while Russia may get ejected from the tournament, there’s little chance of FIFA reversing the decision to hold the 2018 World Cup there.
England’s history of hooliganism is abhorrent and cannot be condoned, but it was so all-encompassing it led to huge penalties for the country’s FA and English became the language of hooliganism the world over.
The only people who want to learn Russian are spies and perverts.
Boumsong table – round 1
Full scores available from The Rub.