Jack of two clubs

BLAZERS at Kenna HQ have come under fire once again after it emerged Jack Wilshere spent the first five weeks of the season appearing for two separate clubs. 

The injury-prone midfielder was turning out for Northern Monkeys and Pikey Scum until someone pointed it out a few days ago.

At once reporters gathered outside the midfielder’s home to find out how he managed his commute.

“I can barely keep fit playin’ 10 fackin’ minutes for one club, and naow I’m playin’ for fackin’ two. I’m gettin’ ‘ome late. I’m missin’ Eastenders. It’s a fackin’ nightmare,” said Wilshere through his rolled down car window.

Kenna HQ immediately decreed whichever club collected most points this week would get the choice of keeping Wilshere. Monkeys outscored Scum by five points.

Given an option of another Bournemouth midfielder, the Scum manager picked Junior Stanislas.

Wilshere, who once claimed less than a fifth of Kenna managers were English, was a little displeased when questioned over the situation again this morning.

“The fackin’ norf? The fackin’ norf? Surraounded by those flat cap, whippet, braown ale cants? You’re ‘avin’ a Steffi fackin’ Graff, aren’t ya?” he said.

“An’ they got all that fackin’ frackin’. I seen it on the nooz.”

In another uncomfortable turn of events, if Islington Sports Islam & Leisure maintain their top of the table form for another week, the Pirate will win an unprecedented two manager of the months in a row.

Kenna table week 6

Full scores are available from The Rub.

Kenna table week 6 - 27 September 2016
Kenna table week 6 – 27 September 2016
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.