Pog? Ba!


MIND games are already underway in the Kenna League this season after a rival manager said Northern Monkeys would perform better with a pog in midfield rather than Paul Pogba.

The Pikey Scum manager made the early-to-mid-1990s-children’s-game reference in relation to Nacer Chadli.

The Belgian (18 points) – on his Scum debut this week – scored three times the Frenchman’s season total.

“He may as well get on ebay and buy some real pogs, because after all the hype his midfielder is playing like a cardboard cutout,” quipped the Scum boss outside the club’s South Hackney Caravan Park stadium earlier today.

At £23m, Pogba is Northern Monkeys’ joint most expensive player with Deli Alli.

While the young Englishman has started the season positively (19), only he and Wes Morgan (21) have clocked up more points this season than Chadli did this week.

It gets worse for Monkeys who struggle in 16th place. Between them Pogba, Jack Wilshere (4), Viktor Fischer (4), Andy Carroll (2), Baston (1) and Boaz Myhill (0) have a combined season total one point less than Chadli.

“Haddaway man, it’s nee gan canny now like, pet. I divvin’ show me face walkin’ doon Shields Rurd at neet,” said the Northern Monkeys manager in a press conference at the club’s The Outhouse training facility.

“There’s a geet walla challenge now. Tryna get summit oot o’ this lot is like hoyin’ a woodbine doon Northumberland Street, man.”

The World Pog Federation declined to comment.

Kenna table – week 5

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna table week 5 - 20 September 2016
Kenna table week 5 – 20 September 2016
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.