Kenna’s first ever cash-plus-player deal

Manuel Lanzini and Stewart Downing

MANUEL Lanzini and Stewart Downing became the first footballers in Kenna League history to be part of a cash-plus-player deal, it has emerged.

Two managerial debutants unwittingly made the transaction at last month’s transfer window to set a new precedent, which has left one of them is left with egg on his face.

Attending his maiden transfer night the Two Goals One Cup manager rung the changes releasing five players including the 1.5-points-per-week Lanzini.

The So Good They Named Him Twice manager couldn’t make the window so released the 2.75-points-per-week Stewart Downing and bid via broadcasting app Periscope.

While So Good signed Lanzini for £8m, Two Goals picked up Downing for twelve.

They have effectively conducted the league’s first cash-plus-player deal – Lanzini plus £4m for Downing.

Since then ‘makeweight’ Lanzini has pulled up his socks to score at 2.7-points-per-week.

Downing has slowed considerably to an average of 1.9.

“Well, well. This is troubling,” said the Two Goals One Cup manager this morning outside the club’s Rimmer’s Way stadium.

Downing: his sorrows

For Kenna veterans, it was little surprise to see Stewart Downing become the first player take part in such an arrangement.

Managers under pressure or looking for quick wins at transfer windows regularly use Downing as a scapegoat.

In just over five years, the winger has been signed on 10 separate occasions by Kenna managers.

That includes a term when he was unavailable in the second tier, and another when his August employer naffed off around the world for a few months without bothering to conduct any transfer business for the rest of season.

It’s also not the first record Downing’s set. In the 2013/14 season he is believed to have become the first player to appear for three different clubs.

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Kenna table – week 12

Full scores and tables can be downloaded from The Rub.

Kenna table week 12 - 22 November 2016
Kenna table week 12 – 22 November 2016
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.