Pies push past Pirates

Sad Pirate

AN ALEXIS Sanchez hat-trick this weekend helped end Islington Sports Islam & Leisure’s thirteen-week spell at the top of the Kenna.

The Chilean forward deftly chipped the goalkeeper for his third to put Thieving Magpies five points ahead of The Pirates.

ISIL striker Diego Costa found the net, got an assist and somehow managed to avoid the melee and cards being dished out in the closing stages of Saturday lunchtime’s game, but it wasn’t enough.

Surprise leaders of the Kenna from the start of the season, the Pirates have put out some increasingly mediocre team performances since the manager resisted the urge to tinker with his line up in the October transfer window.

Fans now face growing concerns more weeks of middling team totals could see their manager hit the February window with the cutlass between his teeth.

The Roque Santa Claus Christmas Cup

Bala Monkeys lead the inaugural Roque Santa Claus Christmas Cup after the first week.

The festive tag-team contest sees two Kenna sides paired by random draw. The best combined score over December wins the cup and free entry for into next season’s Kenna League for the highest-scoring half of the partnership.

There was early disappointment for Vauxhall Chinese Takeaway whose star player Sergio Aguero will miss four of his five games over Christmas due to suspension.

“Can I change my tag-team partner?” said the Young Boys manager after Aguero was sent off for clattering David Luiz on Saturday.

1. Bala Monkeys 69 (Bala Rinas 40 / Northern Monkeys 29)

2. Just Piss Poor 60 (Piss Poor 31 / Just Put Carles 29)

3= Testicureds 55 (FC Testiculadew 31 / Walthamstow Reds 24)

3= Leeds Burqini 55 (Lokomotiv Leeds 27 / Burqini Pool Party 28)

5= So Good They Ate Pies Twice 50 (Thieving Magpies 31 / So Good They Named Him Twice 19)

5= Pikey Network Failure 50 (Pikey Scum 27 / Wandsworth Network Solutions 23)

7. Lesbian Panda 49 (Sporting Lesbian 27 / Team Panda 22)

8. The Peoples’ Front of Cowley 42 (Cowley Casuals 29 / Judean Peoples’ Front 13)

9. Two Pegs One Hook 35 (ISIL 24 / Two Goals One Cup 11)

10. Vauxhall Chinese Takeaway 34 (Young Boys of Vauxhall 23 / Adam Johnson Fan Club 11)

11. Charlton Towers 33 (Sleptember XI 25 / Dynamo Charlton 8)

Kenna table week 14

Full scores and tables are available in The Rub.

Kenna table week 14 - 6 December 2016
Kenna table week 14 – 6 December 2016
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.