Everyone wants to **** with the Jesus


GABRIEL Jesus will be top of many shopping lists ahead of the final Kenna League transfer window tonight.

The Brazilian striker has made a big impact following his move to England a few weeks ago.

Of the top four teams in the table, only Islington Sports Islam & Leisure can sign Jesus without triggering the Titus Bramble forfeit ruling.

The managers of Thieving Magpies (Yaya Toure), FC Testiculadew (David Silva) and Sleptember XI (Raheem Sterling) would all have to release a high-value player as a wildcard tonight to bid for the Brazilian.

Peter Crouch and Jay Rodriguez are the other most notable strikers currently without a Kenna club.

League leader ‘Pies released Dimitri Payet ahead of the window, but there are slim pickings in midfield, where Victor Moses looks the most attractive available player.

With only one wildcard permitted, the ‘Pies manager is taking a long hard look at Pedro.

Another Chelsea player, Marcus Alonso, will captivate interest for managers after a defender. Chambers, Ward, Prodl and Rojo lead the ragtag alternatives.

At 20th in the table, the Piss Poor manager is yet to release Adam Johnson.

Fifteen-year-olds, dude.

The available player list and managers’ remaining budget are available from The Rub.

Clubs – players released – remaining budgets

Sleptember XI – none – 32.5

SGTNHT – Terry, Success – 31.5

Burqini – Bill Cosby, Perez – 29.5

Dynamo – Butland, Nolito – 27

Reds – Amat, Shaw, Khazri – 24.5

AJFC – Rodwell, Oscar – 22

ISIL – Iheanacho – 20.5

Leeds – Albrighton – 19

FCT – Boufal – 19

Sporting – no bonus – 17

Bala – Bravo, Ogbonna, Cazorla, Fer – 14

Magpies – Payet – 16

WNS – none – 13.5

JPF – Otamendi, Zouma, Studge, Rooney, Diouf – 11

Young Boys – Bolasie, Pereya, Defour, Diomande – 10

JPC – no bonus – 9.5

Panda – no bonus – 7

Piss – no bonus – 6.5

Scum – no bonus – 4.5

Cowley – no bonus – 4

2G1C – no bonus – 2.5

Monkeys – no bonus – 2

Cheerio – players who moved in January

Thieving Magpies

Payet to France

Young Boys

Patrick van Aanholt from Sunderland to Palace (not Bramble tied)

Dynamo Charlton

Snodgrass from Hull to West Ham (not Bramble tied)

Two Goals One Cup

Ivanovic to Russia

Adam Johnson Fan Club

Oscar to China

Fonte from Southampton to West Ham (not Bramble tied)

Piss Poor

Berahino from West Brom to Stoke (not Bramble tied)

Kenna table week 22

Narcozep Cup playoff results

Sleptember XI 9 – 19 Lokomotiv Leeds
Burqini Pool Party 19 – 14 Wandsworth Network Solutions

Kenna table week 22 - 31 January 2017
Kenna table week 22 – 31 January 2017

Kenna table week 23

Kenna table week 23 - 7 February 2017
Kenna table week 23 – 7 February 2017
Share Button

Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.