‘Pies finally get to eat cake

Yaya Toure cake

TWELVE long seasons have passed for the Thieving Magpies manager.

He’s watched everyone from the chairman to the Fat Ladies manager, Young Boys to the Tactical Brambler lift the Kenna League title.

All the while the ‘Pies boss toiled away trying to find success with English footballers.

Three years ago he changed tack, went foreign and almost cracked it.

But it was only to revert to type at the second transfer window, selling Samir Nasri in favour of Andros Townsend.

It was a cruel booby prize: runner up to the Tactical Brambler.

This season was different. Yaya Toure, Alexis Sanchez and Dimitri Payet snapped up at the August auction.

Cakes, toys and prams.

The ‘Pies manager had gone diva.

It paid off. And Sanchez topped a superb, if moody, season with 12 points on Saturday.

What four weeks ago was being hailed as one of the closest Kenna title races ever ended this week with ‘Pies holding a 59-point gap over his nearest rival.

What’s more, it’s the same manager who beat him by a 61-point margin three years ago.

Prize money – total pot £400

Thieving Magpies – league winners (£150), MOTM x3 (£5 each) = £165

FC Testiculadew – runners up (£75), MOTM x2 (£5 each) = £85

Burqini Pool Party – third (£50) = £50

So Good They Named Him Twice – Wenger Trophy (£25), MOTM x1 (£5) = £30

Adam Johnson Fan Club – Narcozep Cup winners (£50) = £50

MOTMs (£5 each) – ISIL, Sporting Lesbian, Dynamo Charlton, Northern Monkeys

Kenna table – 30 May 2017 – final standings

Kenna table - 30 May 2017 - final standings
Kenna table – 30 May 2017 – final standings
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.