Memories of Mohamed Salah’s mediocre first spell in England were brushed aside this weekend with a goal and assist in the first game of the season.
Of course, it was a weight off the Egyptian’s mind.
Helping his new club Sporting Lesbian to the top of the Kenna League, Salah was only too pleased to recall the moment he found out he was moving back to London.
“Ahhh, I remember it well! It was during the physical act of love,” he overshared.
“My agent phoned so I immediately pulled out and took the call. When I found out I’d been signed for £32m in the world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league I couldn’t contain myself.”
Egyptian cotton, fortunately, washes well at high temperatures.
During his first training session for Sporting, Salah was pleased to find new teammates in Alexandre Lacazette and Henrikh Mkhitaryan, but confused by the dressing-room presence of Bill Cosby.
Sporting Lesbian’s manager was on hand to explain.
Apparently, Salah learned, the Sporting boss had broken the Titus Bramble ruling at the auction. An illegal player was removed and replaced with ‘a dud’. He was not the only manager to make that mistake.
“Laugh at Cosby’s amusing facial expressions,” advised Salah’s new manager.
“Allow yourself to be entertained by his Dr Cliff Huxtable routines,” the manager continued.
“He offers you an OJ, though, refuse outright. There are some things even a 90 degree wash cannot eradicate.”
Kenna table – week 1
Full scores available from The Rub.