MELODRAMA lit up the Kenna League auction on Friday night when a manager threatened to resign after forfeiting Alvaro Morata.
The Islington Sports Islam & Leisure manager, known as the Pirate, put on his pea coat and almost jumped ship after illegally buying Thibault Courtois and losing Morata under the Titus Bramble ruling.
The incident, coupled with a round of the chairman’s homemade quince vodka, turned the auction from studied caution into a partisan crowd.
Cheers and jeers rang out in the patio area of the Hoop & Grapes as the Pirate’s mutiny interrupted the auction for 10 chaotic minutes.
ISIL had signed Morata for £15m in the first lot of the evening: a novelty lucky dip involving the Spanish striker, Jordan Pickford, Tom Ince and Bramble player Siri.
From there the Pirate’s early business was promising. Alexis Sanchez was quickly added to his attack, but seasoned Kenna managers suspected the combination of a swelling ISIL team sheet and a shot of homemade hooch was a powder keg waiting to blow.
The hotheaded manager claimed his bid on goalkeeper Courtois was made in jest.
With such a high-profile signing as Morata already in his team, the league correctly jumped on the sniff of a Bramble.
The incident was a close repeat of the Pirate’s acrimonious resignation during the Emmanuel Olisadebe Euros auction in 2012.
In both cases the manager eventually returned to his senses and rejoined the auction.
The evening had started in understated fashion. A largely unprintable keynote address from the chairman proceeded the lucky dip signings of Morata by ISIL and Kyle Walker by Sporting Lesbian.
From there 16 attendees, including defending champion the Thieving Magpies manager, bid on the 50 most well-regarded footballers in England drawn at random. Another four managers absent submitted sealed bids.
The dregs of the auction were mopped up by 11.30pm, but everyone will remember the night for the Pirate’s outburst which came around 90 minutes into affairs.
Full teams will be available in The Rub in the next 24 hours.