For anyone who hasn’t heard it, terrace ‘wits’ are using a melody from Made of Stone by the Stone Roses to make race-related assertions about the Belgian striker’s manhood.
For chant enthusiasts, comparisons could be made to a video of Manchester United fans chanting about allegations Adam Johnson had an inappropriate sexual encounter with a 15-year-old girl (analysed here two years ago).
At the time, the former Sunderland winger was yet to be convicted.
But while both chants relate to…ahem…Johnsons under scrutiny, in Lukaku’s case defamation is an unlikely issue.
Is any man going to be interviewed outside the Royal Courts of Justice thousands of pounds richer because his penis is smaller than slandered?
In…ahem…short, the Lukaku chant is clearly racist and inappropriate.
But to the chant purist it could beg the question: to what United players could the Made of Stone chant be applied on the grounds of national stereotyping?
Here are some seriously low-quality efforts.
Juan Mata (Spain)
Likes to chatter
Smokes Ducardos at a bullfight
Doesn’t eat his tea till midnight
Getting the assists
When he talks he lisps
Matteo Darmian (Italy)
Tackler, passer and a shooter
Says ‘Ciao!’ to girls from his scooter
Pressing down the flank
Reversing in his tank
Daley Blind (Netherlands)
Useful defensive solution
Relaxed views on prostitution
Tulips, clogs, windmills
Not that good on hills
Sergio Romero (Argentina)
A magician on the goal line
Steak and Malbec every lunchtime
Can’t help it if he cheats
Anthony Martial (France)
He might take a nifty free kick
But his bike’s covered in garlic
Playing on the wing
Can’t resist a fling
Henrikh Mkhitaryan (Armenia)
Our state English education
Means we’ve reached the limitation
Of our trivia
It’s bordered by Georgia?
Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Sweden)
His home country’s rich
Leggy blondes, midsummer parties
Collaborated with the Nazis
Goals and kung fu tough
Saunas in the buff
Michael Carrick (England)
Killer pass he’s always hunting
Local pub’s got George’s bunting
In England he believes
Probably voted Leave
Kenna table week 6
Full scores available from The Rub.