For you the Kharine is over

Thomas Muller1

GERMANY’s biggest defeat in Russia since the Battle of Stalingrad was bad news for 13 of the 16 Dmitri Kharine World Cup managers.

More money was spent on Germans at the Kharine auction than on players from any other nation.

Shelling out £193m on the Teutonic flops, Kharine managers also spent more on average per German player: £14.85m.

Timo Werner was the most expensive German. He cost Pikov Scuminov £32m and returned just one assist, although his poor form didn’t stop the side top scoring this round to keep hold of second place.

The manager of I Knew Sterling Would F*ck It Up! was one of only three competitors not to sign a German. His team stay top of the Kharine.

Sporting Lesbian signed the second-most expensive Die Mannschaft player, Thomas Muller for £30m. His only contribution was a yellow card.

For £27m, Goulash County bought Jerome Boateng and got two goals conceded and a red card in return.

Belgians were the next most popular with Kharine managers with an average spend per player of £14.25m.

Romelu Lukaku (I Knew Sterling Would F*ck It Up!) and Kevin de Bruyne (The Breivik Babes) both went for more than £30m although their managers will be disappointed they missed out on last night’s training game in Kaliningrad.

Discounting the folly of the Lokomotiv Leeds manager who saw fit to splash out £26m on a South Korean and Saudi strike partnership, France was the third most expensive country when it came to player sales: £11.21m per player on average.

Of the 16 managers to compete in the Kharine, 14 signed French players, alongside Argentina and England the most players purchased of any nationality.

Players Value (£m) Average per player (£m)
Germany 13 193 14.85
Belgium 11 156.5 14.25
Saudi Arabia 1 13 13
South Korea 1 13 13
France 14 157 11.21
Argentina 14 153.5 11
Spain 11 113 10.27
Portugal 8 77 9.63
Poland 4 25 9.63
Iceland 1 8 8
England 14 110 7.86
Uruguay 9 70 7.78
Colombia 6 38 6.33
Senegal 3 17 5.67
Denmark 4 22 5.5
Croatia 9 48.5 5.38
Mexico 5 17.5 3.5
Serbia 6 20.5 3.42
Russia 3 8 2.67
Morocco 3 5.5 1.83
Nigeria 4 7 1.75
Switzerland 6 8 1.33
Peru 3 4 1.33
Australia 2 1.5 0.75
Costa Rica 1 0.5 0.5
Japan 1 0.5 0.5

Kharine table – after the group stage

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kharine table - 29 June 2018
Kharine table – 29 June 2018
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.