Discernment is a matter of good taste.
The caliphate fulfils my discernment in many ways.
Unity in hatred of the capitalist West.
Positive action against the infidels and their false idols.
Better fruit and veg than Roman Road market.
But as an individual of true discernment there was always something missing.
To take part in a truly world-class fantasy football league.
One day I looked down at a severed human head in a bucket and thought: ‘The imperialists are paying dearly for their opulence, but how am I going to be able to bid remotely long enough to sign Paul Pogba at auction with wifi this patchy?’
That’s why I want to return to Britain.
And being discerning there’s only one fantasy football league I would join: the Kenna.
The world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league.
Krakow Cup last sixteen results
First leg 12 February, second leg 26 February
Turnpike Pirates 27 (65) – (62) 33 Test Team please ignore
Clotted Cream First 20 (63) – (52) 16 Fat Ladies
Hairy Fadjeetas 14 (49) – (22) 8 Dagger’n’Redbridge
Piss Poor 5 (21) – (51) 22 Pikey Scum
TNS 32 (58) – (76) 36 Newington Reds
Lokomotiv Leeds 11 (30) – (63) 19 Chairman’s XI
Dulwich Red Sox 27 (46) – (55) 22 Dynamo Charlton
Thieving Magpies 4 (38) – (45) 20 Sporting Lesbian
Krakow Cup quarter final fixtures
First leg 5 March, second leg 19 March
Turnpike Pirates v Hairy Fadjeetas
Clotted Cream First v Chairman’s XI
Newington Reds v Dynamo Charlton
Pikey Scum v Sporting Lesbian