Reds go top, Fadges flop

Poll Hereford Bull_New

NEWINGTON Reds went top of the Kenna League this week, but the manager is clearly under pressure.

Asked how his team knocked Hairy Fadjeetas from their perch after 15 game weeks, the Reds manager’s response perplexed fans.

“Yeah – a lot of the other results are based on 6 questions, and one of those was that free text option – which never got marked so a bit misleading…,” read a Newington Reds press release this afternoon.

Journalists attributed the blunder to a manager facing pressure to get ‘results’, answer ‘questions’ and see his name ‘marked’ on a Kenna League title trophy for the first time in 14 years of trying.

Whether the Reds boss suffers a nervous breakdown or not in the next seven weeks, the prowess of Andrew Robertson (183 points), Glenn Murray and Luka Milivojevic (120 points each) could carry the team through.

Dumped from the Krakow Cup last week and surrendering his lead this, the Hairy Fadjeetas boss looks set to spend more time at His Majesty’s Pleasure in the United Arab Emirates unless the side can put aside its over reliance on Raheem Sterling.

In hard-hitting administrative news, Kenna HQ has a dilemma in deciding a date for next season’s auction.

Traditionally held on the first weekend of matches (this year 10 August), two veteran managers have already called for this to be brought forward seven days.

In a brewery tap room in Oxford on the weekend the chairman was quoted saying: “Saturday 3 August is tricky for me. I really need to be in West Worcestershire. It’s Tenbury Show and I’m integral.”

Show organisers were quick to contradict that statement.

“We’ve got enough drunken louts stumbling around the cider concessions, tripping over tent pegs and taking photos of Herefordshire bulls’ enormous testicles without him showing up again,” said a Tenbury Wells Agricultural Society spokeswoman.

Kenna table – week 30

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna week 30 - 4 April 2019
Kenna week 30 – 4 April 2019
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.