THE final Sunday of the Kenna season was billed as a tense standoff between three clubs competing for glory.
The Chairman’s XI, Dynamo Charlton, Test Team (please ignore).
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
As the sun beat down, the trio faced each other. Sweat trickling down faces. Fingers twitching over holsters. Ennio Morricone’s score ratcheting up the tension. The stage set for an epic showdown.
But in the end Clint Eastwood’s gun goes off too soon and takes out his big toe, Eli Wallach suffers a coronary and Lee Van Cleef has only to stare intently over his moustache as Kevin De Bruyne and Pierre-Emeric Aubameyang ram it home against lacklustre opposition.
For the Dynamo Charlton manager has become the 11th gun to win the Kenna title.
The loan player system introduced this season played right into the Dynamo manager’s parsimonious hands.
Infamously frugal at auction, the Dynamo boss walked out of The Albion onto Ludgate Circus in August with £46.5m left in the bank.
In previous seasons, his tightfisted approach was enough to sign sparse talent available at each transfer window, but not enough to win with them.
With loan players flooding transfer windows this season it was easy pickings.
Disappointed not to be claiming a record third title, the chairman had hoped Willian starting at Wembley would be enough to earn him second place. The Brazilian started and finished the game in the stands. And then changed London postcode.
Test Team (please ignore) prevailed in the runners up spot, but the polite request in the name to overlook the side’s efforts means the manager’s £70 prize pot is donated to the Kenna Foundation.
Clotted Cream First became the first side to retain the cup, albeit in a bastardised pandemic version.
Barry Town scooped the Wenger Trophy, Jamie Vardy, Granit Xhaka and George Baldock springing to life for project restart.
One manager you’d expect to turn the suffering and death of millions of people to his advantage, noticeably failed to do so. The Dark Lord‘s form was flying between Christmas and March, thanks to Teemu Pukki, Richarlison and Patrick Van Aanholt, but the team were miserable this summer.
Only one club were worse – Turnpike Pirates – and they finished bottom of the league, relegated for the third time in their history. It still won’t be the last time someone signs Michy Batshuayi.
Kenna managers now have just 26 days to prepare for next season’s auction, which is will be run remotely for the first time.
Dynamo Charlton – £190 (Champions: £150, MOTM x4: £40)
Clotted Cream First – £75 (Cup winner)
Test Team (please ignore) – £70 (Runner up: £50, MOTM x2: £20)
Barry Town – £20 (Wenger Trophy: £10, MOTM: £10)
Chairman – £10 (MOTM: £10)
Dagger’n’Redbridge – £10 (MOTM: £10)
Still Don’t Know Yet – £10 (MOTM: £10)
Kenna season 15 – 2019/20 – Final table
Full scores available from The Rub.