Dyathinkhesaurus?

MESUT Ozil has been disciplined by his club for secretly sending a second to take his place in training sessions.

The German playmaker was found to have paid the club mascot to pretend he was Ozil in a dinosaur suit and attend training on Tuesday and Wednesday this week.

A source at Ozil’s Kenna League club Judean Peoples’ Front says it took two days to uncover to the switch because a middle-aged man in an oversized comedy dinosaur suit shuffling around the training ground so resembled the Ozil the coaching staff have come to know.

‘To be honest we were surprised because he appeared to be putting in some effort for once. We thought he was trying to play his way back into the starting eleven,’ said the source.

‘Mesut Ozil has been suspended pending an internal investigation. It would be inappropriate to comment further while the investigation is underway,’ read a statement from club blazers.

It is thought the club investigation will centre on a tweet by Ozil offering to pay the mascot’s wages.

Judean Peoples’ Front have made a slow start to the season, which stems from the manager’s failure to attend the 12 September auction and have his team hatecrimed by autofill.

Asked about his ambitions for the campaign, another JPF midfielder Gareth Bale said: ‘Could you pass my six iron?’

Kenna League week 4

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna League week 4 – 6 October 2020
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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.

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