The Kenna League chairman finally got round to confirming himself Euros Super League winner.
The trophy puts the chairman into the Kenna record books, as the first manager to win two international tournaments. He won ‘the Khumalo’ 2010 Dr Khumalo World Cup.
After speaking briefly of ’11 years of hurt’ in a press conference this morning, the chairman explained why it had taken him so long to share his good news.
‘Last week started badly on an emotional and a physical level. It was hard to acknowledge that football or sobriety could exist. Even the Kenna, that sacred lamb, was difficult to countenance.
‘Then I started taking an interest in transfer news and here we are.’
Having bared his soul, the chairman went about rubbing victory in managers’ faces.
‘How they laughed when I signed Jordan Pickford and Ronaldo at the auction, and they finish the tournament the two top points scorers.
‘How they laughed when I signed Patrick van Aanholt for £19m. He scored 17 points.
‘How they laughed at a midfield of Calhanoglu, Kroos, and Golovin, and admittedly they were awful, but they still scored 21 points between them.
‘Even one-game Timothy Castagne scored four points. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.’
Managers now look ahead to the domestic auction on Saturday 7 August. The chairman has promised to get ‘managers back in pubs’ based ‘not on dates or data, but daytime drinking’.
Euros Super League – final standings
Full scores available from The Rub.