Month: September 2021

Cream top in spite of makeweight Kane

Clotted Cream First have topped the Kenna League for the first six weeks of the season despite carrying an out-of-sorts Harry Kane.

The England captain is the lowest points scorer in the Cream starting eleven with seven points, having returned just three starts and a substitute appearance.

The Cream boss will be happy to have paid just £7m for the striker after bidding to take part in a high stakes game of ‘The Harry Kane Challenge’, where two managers go head to head naming the starting 22 players of a certain match.

While Kane flounders, Cream have found form all over the team.

Edouard Mendy (£0.5m) is top scoring with 32 points, following by Bruno Fernandes (£22m) with 30, Raphinha (£28m) with 28, Youri Tielemens (£9m) with 27, and Tyrone Mings (£0.5m) with 25.

‘Even Ben Mee bring me more points than ‘Arry,’ said the Devonian manager of Clotted Cream First.

Kenna League week 6

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna week 6 - 28 September 2021
Kenna week 6 – 28 September 2021

Kenna League week 5

Kenna week 5 - 21 September 2021
Kenna week 5 – 21 September 2021
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Vice chairman returns from exile

The Kenna League vice chairman has returned to the UK from nine months of political exile.

The second-in-command of the world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league was banished to Africa for fomenting dissent at Kenna HQ to undermine the chairman.

Upon seeing the vice chairman back on English soil at the weekend, followers of his social media feeds were surprised to see him not in a pool, on a mountain or beach, or within high-calibre rifle range of one of the Big Five.

‘His ratty manbun was a bit of shock too, but probably not as much as a shock as the vice chairman got when he saw the autofill had put Benjamin Mendy in his Young Boys team,’ quipped a source at Kenna HQ.

While the vice chairman’s return to England underwhelmed, Cristiano Ronaldo announced himself with typical aplomb.

The three owners of Anthony Martial, Edison Cavani, and Marcus Rashford were left to rue those signings, as the Portuguese made a mockery of auction planning.

Kenna League week 4

Full scores available from The Rub.

Kenna week 4 - 14 September 2021
Kenna week 4 – 14 September 2021

Kenna League week 3

Kenna week 3 - 7 September 2021
Kenna week 3 – 7 September 2021
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