Kenna auction ‘wasn’t a party’

Families of Covid victims have expressed outrage over reports the world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league held a party in violation of social distancing restrictions.

Kenna HQ maintains the August auction was an ‘essential’ activity respecting Covid rules, but a photo of an obscene bar bill which emerged this week has drawn infuriated criticism.

‘The August auction was essential league business attended by only six managers in person. It certainly did not include cheese, wine, Christmas jumpers, or a Secret Santa. The fact it included countless pints of Neck Oil is neither here nor there,” guffawed the Kenna chairman at a press conference rehearsal.

Repeated denials a party took place have angered the public, many of whom have pointed out someone died from Covid for every time a manager signed an overpriced player.

With pressure mounting on the Kenna executive, the chairman was forced to send out a sacrificial lamb.

In a tearful address outside his London home this morning, the vice chairman said: “I will regret my decision not to attend the auction for the rest of my life.

“The British people have made immense sacrifices in the battle against Covid-19.

“To all of you who lost loved ones, endured intolerable loneliness and struggled with your businesses – I am sorry and this afternoon I have offered my resignation to the chairman.”

The Kenna HQ faithful broke ranks to condemn the league’s actions.

“Young people look to the Kenna League as a moral guide and the pinnacle of achievement on equal terms. Those young people have not only been led astray, they’ve been severely let down,” said Kenna Head of Child Safeguarding Ghislaine Maxwell.

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Author: The chairman

Ascended to the chairmanship of the Jeff Kenna League Fantasy Football League in 2007 after co-founded the league in London in August 2005.