NEWINGTON Reds all but won the Kenna League on the weekend, but failed register a double.
The Wile. E. Coyote of set pieces Trent Alexander-Arnold was the difference, a clean sheet and two assists earning him 13 points.
“Trent be a helluva bhuy, gert lush ee iz,” drawled the Devonian manager of The Cream.
“Fan zee zat, a Janner scoopinnt Krakoff dreckly ee be int Kenna? Although I was savage to see me bhuy Ake gettin minus two. Madazza barbed wire badger, ee iz.”
While Clotted Cream First shaved Reds in the cup, in the league second-placed Hairy Fadjeetas are in no danger shaving anything.
Third placed Fat Ladies also appear unlikely to shave anything from Hairy Fadjeetas’ 13-point advantage this Saturday. Fadges take Raheem Sterling into the game, while Ladies rely on Americ Laporte.
There’s an outside chance Bala Rinas could spring 18 points into third place if Gerard Deulofeu and Ederson combine.
Krakow Cup final – individual scores
Newington Reds 30 – Fab 2, J Evans 7, Robertson 7, Coady 1, C Taylor 0, Mili 1, Hojbjerg 2, Camarasa 0, Babel 1, Murray 7, Higuain 2
Clotted Cream First 33 – Lloris 1, TAA 13, Ake -2, Lascelles 7, Nordtveit 0, McArthur 4, Xhaka 0, H Costa 0, Barkley 2, Kun 7, Austin 1