Adam Johnson Fan Club 2017/18

Chairman 69 problems
…but running the world’s leading London pub-based fantasy football league ain’t one: The AJFC manager and Kenna chairman

Manager: Stix

Twitter name@jeffkennaleague

Since: 2005 (co-founder and chairman)

Home groundBig Wong

Training facilityThe Forbidden Garden

Trophy cabinet:
Champions 2005/06
Canesten Combi Cup winner 2006
Treble in 2009/2010 (league, cup, Dr Khumalo World Cup 2010)
Narcozep Cup winner 2017

Form
2005/06 – 1st
2006/07 – 3rd
2007/08 – 7th
2008/09 – 9th
2009/10 – 1st
2010/11 – 4th
2011/12 – 16th
2012/13 – 18th (relegated)
2013/14 – 10th
2014/15 – 11th
2015/16 – 11th
2016/17 – 13th (cup winner)

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts musicLet Me Be Your Fantasy – Baby D

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Appears to have bought three players in no danger of walking on a football pitch anytime soon, another treble-winning season not on the cards – 50/1

Auction XI (4-3-3)
Remaining budget: £9.5m

Heaton, T BUR  £6.00
Luiz, D CHE  £10.00
Clyne, N LIV  £0.50
Ogbonna, A WHM  £0.50
Janmaat, D WAT  £0.50
Alli, D TOT  £35.00
Silva, B MCY  £17.00
Drinkwater, D LEI  £0.50
Welbeck, D ARS  £7.00
Defoe, J BOU  £13.00
Lookman, A EVE  £0.50
 £90.50
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So Good They Named Him Twice 2017/18

Weatherall and Anderton
Sicknote: The So Good They Named Him Twice manager

Manager: Weatherall (Liverpool)

Twitter name@johnredknapp

Since: 2016

Home ground: The Jay-Jay Memorial Park

Training facility: Okocha

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2016/17 – 4th

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts musicSmooth Operator – Sade

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Creditable follow up to 4th place on debut remote – 1,000/1

Auction XI (4-3-3)
Remaining budget: £11.5m*

*auction absentee: average remaining budget of managers who attended

Romero, S MUN  £0.50
Moreno, A LIV  £0.50
Yoshida, M SOT  £0.50
Evans, J WBA  £0.50
Smith, A BOU  £0.50
Wilshere, J ARS  £0.50
Puncheon, J CRY  £0.50
Wanyama, V TOT  £0.50
Nolito MCY  £0.50
Remy, L CHE  £0.50
Musa, A LEI  £0.50
 £5.50
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Wandsworth Network Solutions 2017/18

Will and Gunnersaurus Rex
Influences at the highest echelons of the game: The Wandsworth Network Solutions manager (left)

Manager: Will (Worcestershire)

Twitter name@chainfir3

Since: 2010

Home ground: King George’s Park

Training facility: The Alma

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 8th in 2010/11)

Kenna Index rating: N/A
2010/11 – 8th
2012/13 – 19th (relegated)
2013/14 – did not enter
2014/15 – did not enter
2015/16 – 7th
2016/17 – 10th

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts musicMary Jane – Rick James

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Auction absentee only managed to sign de Gea, Baines and Rudiger as targets followed by an unkind auto pick – 100/1

Auction XI (4-4-2)
Remaining budget: £11.5m*

*auction absentee: average remaining budget of managers who attended

de Gea, D MUN  £8.00
Baines, L EVE  £13.00
Rudiger, A CHE  £11.00
Mertesacker, P ARS  £0.50
Morgan, W LEI  £0.50
Can, E LIV  £0.50
Sissoko, M TOT  £0.50
Arter, H BOU  £0.50
Pereyra, R WAT  £0.50
Carroll, A WHM  £0.50
Bony, W MCY  £0.50
 £36.00
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Puncheon The Bony Kante 2017/18

Kirk
Big time Kante: The Puncheon The Bony Kante manager

Name: Kirk (Shropshire)

Twitter name: @KirkMcDowell

Since: 2017

Home ground: Jason Wilfred Road

Training facility: The Engolo

Trophy cabinet: Empty (debut season)

Sympathies: Luton Town

Darts music: Punching in a Dream – The Naked and Famous

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: A debutante hasn’t won the Kenna for more than decade, no one has ever won the Kenna without attending the auction, put that in your in-play betting spread sheet and smoke it – 500/1

Auction XI (4-5-1)
Remaining budget: £11.5m (average of managers who attended the auction)

Caballero, W CHE  £0.50
Williams, A EVE  £7.00
Danilo MCY  £0.50
Sakho, M LIV  £0.50
Pieters, E STO  £0.50
Lingard, J MUN  £0.50
Iwobi, A ARS  £8.00
Stanislas, J BOU  £5.50
Gray, D LEI  £0.50
Fer, L SWA  £0.50
Gray, A BUR  £0.50
 £24.50

 

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Bala Rinas 2017/18

Lewis
Day release: The Bala Rinas manager

Manager: Lewis (Wales)

Twitter name@jsl105

Since: 2007 (committee member – league treasurer)

Home ground: Bala Park

Training facility: Tutu Lake

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2007/08 – 12th (relegated)
2011/12 – 8th
2012/13 – 13th
2013/14 – 3rd
2014/15 – 3rd
2015/16 – 3rd
2016/17 – 9th

Sympathies: Wrexham

Darts musicC.R.E.A.M. – Wu Tang Clan

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: The league treasurer ended a run of three podium finishes last season with 9th place and having not showed up to the auction a new pattern of disappointing mid-table form has been born – 50/1

Auction XI (4-3-3)
Remaining budget: £11.5m (average of managers who attended the auction)

Elliot, R NEW  £1.50
Naughton, K SWA  £0.50
Shawcross, R STO  £0.50
Taylor, C BUR  £1.00
Suttner, M BTN  £0.50
Willian CHE  £3.50
Fellaini, M MUN  £0.50
Fernandinho MCY  £0.50
Austin, C SOT  £11.00
Ings, D LIV  £0.50
Kachunga, E HUD  £0.50
     £20.50

 

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Don’t Know Yet 2017/18

Ball profile pic
Undecided: The Don’t Know Yet manager

Manager: Pete (Teeside)

Twitter name@peterball01

Since: 2012

Home ground: Undetermined Street

Training facility: Klub Kudos

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – 14th in 2012/13)

Kenna Index rating: 0.78 – 24th
2012/13 – 14th
2013/14 – 17th
2014/15 – 18th (relegated)
2015/16 – 19th (relegated)
2016/17 – Did not enter

Sympathies: Boro

Darts musicTheme from ‘The Power Game’ – Cyril Stapleton

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Buying four players, dropping the mic and leaving the rest to autofill could guarantee a third straight relegation – 50/1

Auction XI (4-4-2)
Remaining budget: £5m

Karius, L

LIV

£0.50

Otamendi, N

MCY

£0.50

Reid, W

WHM

£0.50

Dann, S

CRY

£0.50

Maguire, H

LEI

£0.50

Ozil, M

ARS

£20.00

Eriksen, C

TOT

£30.00

Pedro

CHE

£18.00

Mata, J

MUN

£18.00

Vokes, S

BUR

£6.00

Afobe, B

BOU

£0.50

£95.00

 

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Piss Poor 2017/18

John N profile pic
Sucking it in: The Headless Chickens manager

Manager: John N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Guillotine Way

Training facility: The Coop

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2011/12 – 11th
2012/13 – 16th
2013/14 – 9th
2014/15 – 16th
2015/16 – 18th (relegated)
2016/17 – 21st (relegated)

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Hala Madrid y nada mas

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Tempered the incredible bargain of Alvaro Morata when the player became unexpectedly available by signing a Roma player. Piss poor transfer window attendance record – 100/1

Auction XI (3-4-3)
Remaining budget: £33.5m

Lloris, H

TOT

£10.00

Valencia, A

MUN

£9.00

Bertrand, R

SOT

£4.00

Kolarov, A

ROM

£8.00

Ox-Chamberlain, A

LIV

£5.00

Ibe, J

BOU

£3.00

Snodgrass, R

WHM

£6.00

Barkley, R

EVE

£6.00

Morata, A

CHE

£6.00

Rondon, S

WBA

£9.00

Origi, D

LIV

£0.50

£66.50

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Young Boys of Vauxhall 2017/18

Denney
Don’t mention the war: The Young Boys manager

Manager: Denney (Wales)

Twitter name@andenney

Since: 2007

Home ground: Yewtree Lane

Training facility: Fiddler’s Harris

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2010/11 and 2015/16, Canesten Combi Cup winners 2008/09

Form
2007/08 – 5th
2008/09 – 3rd (cup winners)
2009/10 – 2nd
2010/11 – 1st (champions)
2011/12 – 4th
2013/14 – 16th
2014/15 – 6th
2015/16 – 1st (champions)
2016/17 – 12th

Sympathies: Spurs

Darts music: We Don’t Talk Anymore – Sir Cliff Richard

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Manager attempts to bounce back from his disappointing title defence last season by signing three defensive midfield players and making Christian Benteke his second-most-expensive player – 35/1

Auction XI (3-4-3)
Remaining budget: £14.5M

Fabianski, L

SWA

£0.50

Cahill, G

CHE

£17.00

Nyom, A

WBA

£0.50

Bailly, E

MUN

£5.00

Ndidi, W

LEI

£0.50

Ward-Prowse, J

SOT

£0.50

Gradel, M

BOU

£0.50

Dier, E

TOT

£0.50

Benteke, C

CRY

£29.00

Jesus, G

MCY

£31.00

Joselu

STO

£0.50

£85.50

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Walthamstow Reds 2017/18

Dudley profile pic
English food: The Newington Reds manager

Manager: Dudley (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name@dudleyben

Since: 2005 (co founder and committee member)

Home ground: The Old Dog Track

Training facility: Banbury Reservoir

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2005/06 – 2nd
2006/07 – 7th
2007/08 – 4th
2008/09 – 4th
2009/10 – 3rd
2010/11 – 11th
2011/12 – 3rd
2012/13 – 11th
2013/14 – 7th
2014/15 – 8th
2015/16 – 2nd
2016/17 – 11th

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: House of Love – East 17

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Now the only manager to enter all 13 seasons of the Kenna with an empty trophy cabinet, soon to become 14 – 30/1

Auction XI (3-4-3)
Remaining budget: £1m

Butland, J

STO

£0.50

Keane, M

EVE

£4.00

Ake, N

BOU

£0.50

Fonte, J

WHM

£0.50

Silva, D

MCY

£24.00

Pogba, P

MUN

£23.00

Zaha, W

CRY

£16.00

Redmond, N

SOT

£6.00

Batshuayi, M

CHE

£5.00

Heung-Min, S

TOT

£19.00

Mounie, S

HUD

£0.50

£99.00

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Two Goals One Cup 2017/18

Spencer anon
Bald ambition: The Two Goals One Cup manager

Manager: Spencer (Lichfield)

Since: 2016

Home ground: Rimmer’s Way

Training facility: Fantasy Island

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
2016/17 – 15th

Sympathies: Nuneaton Borough

Darts music: Ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-dop – Scatman John

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Lost Peter Crouch on a Bramble, but still has plenty up front and solid at the rear, a bit like the Two Goals Bramble player, fnarr! fnarr! – 25/1

Auction XI (4-3-3)
Remaining budget: £6.5m

Mignolet, S LIV  £5.00
Koscielny, L ARS  £7.00
Blind, D MUN  £5.00
Zabaleta, P WHM  £5.00
van Aanholt, P CRY  £0.50
Sterling, R MCY  £24.00
Fabregas, C  CHE  £10.00
Shaqiri, X STO  £0.50
Vardy, J LEI  £18.00
Rooney, W EVE  £18.00
Clancy, A BRM  £0.50
 £93.50
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