Managers – The Jeff Kenna League

Craven Cottaging 2018/19

Manager: Andrew

Since: 2018

Home ground: Bishop’s Park

Training facility: The Gents

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: Fulham

Darts music: Fast Love – George Michael

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £17m
Spend: £5.5m
Player sales: £0.5m (Gabbiadini to Bala Rinas)
Remaining budget: £12m

de Gea, D	MUN	£18.00
Danilo (TW1)	MCY	£0.50
Lowton, M	BUR	£4.00
Christensen, A (TW1)	CHE	£0.50
Stanislas, J	BOU	£1.00
Wilshere, J (TW1)	WHM	£0.50
Mane, S	LIV	£30.00
Alli, D	TOT	£25.00
Torreira, L	ARS	£0.50
Gayle, D (TW1)	NEW	£4.00
Calvert-Lewin, D	EVE	£0.50
		£81

Auction XI

de Gea, D	MUN	£18.00
Ian Brady	BRM	£4.00
Lowton, M	BUR	£4.00
Stuart Hazel	BRM	£5.00
Stanislas, J	BOU	£1.00
Delph, F	MCY	£1.00
Mane, S	LIV	£30.00
Alli, D	TOT	£25.00
Torreira, L	ARS	£0.50
Gabbiadini, M	SOT	£4.00
Calvert-Lewin, D	EVE	£0.50
		£93.00

Mo Me The Mané 2018/19

Manager: Mackay (Shrewsbury)

Since: 2018

Home ground: Salah Street

Training facility: The Sadio

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Show Me The Money – Mike Diva

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £13m
Spend: £12.5m
Players sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £0.5m

Lossl, J	HUD	£5.00
Rose, D	TOT	£8.00
Dunk, L	BTN	£4.00
Tarkowski, J	BUR	£6.00
Matip, J	LIV	£5.00
Silva, D	MCY	£22.00
Seri, J	FUL	£11.00
Hughes, W	WAT	£3.00
Brooks, D (TW1)	BOU	£12.00
Rashford, M	MUN	£12.00
Bonatini, L (TW1)	WLV	£0.50
		£88.50

Auction XI

Lossl, J	HUD	£5.00
Rose, D	TOT	£8.00
Dunk, L	BTN	£4.00
Tarkowski, J	BUR	£6.00
Matip, J	LIV	£5.00
Silva, D	MCY	£22.00
Seri, J	FUL	£11.00
Hughes, W	WAT	£3.00
Barry Bennell	BRM	£16.00
Rashford, M	MUN	£12.00
Rolf Harris	BRM	£5.00
		£97.00

Clotted Cream First 2018/19

Bloody Mary: The Clotted Cream First manager

Manager: Oli (Devon)

Since: 2018

Home ground: The Dairy

Training facility: Princetown

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: Exeter City

Darts music: Devonshire Cream and Cider – Malcolm McEachern

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £11m
Spend: £10m
Player sales: £0.5m (Lanzini to Lokomotiv Leeds)
Remaining budget: £1.5m

Lloris, H	TOT	£15.00
Alexander-Arnold, T	LIV	£6.00
Ake, N	BOU	£4.00
Lascelles, J	NEW	£7.00
Valencia, A	MUN	£8.00
McArthur, J	CRY	£2.00
Xhaka, G	ARS	£0.50
Costa, H (TW1)	WLV	£8.00
Barkley, R (TW1)	CHE	£2.00
Aguero, S	MCY	£40.00
Austin, C	SOT	£11.00
		£103.50

Auction XI

Lloris, H	TOT	£15.00
Alexander-Arnold, T	LIV	£6.00
Ake, N	BOU	£4.00
Lascelles, J	NEW	£7.00
Valencia, A	MUN	£8.00
McArthur, J	CRY	£2.00
Xhaka, G	ARS	£0.50
Lanzini, M	WHM	£5.00
Izquierdo, J	BTN	£0.50
Aguero, S	MCY	£40.00
Austin, C	SOT	£11.00
		£99.00

Dagger’n Redbridge 2018/19

Rob anon — Hay carumba: The Dagger’n Redbridge manager

Manager: Rob (London)

Twitter name: @pixelbasheriser

Since: 2018

Home ground: Elm Park

Training facility: Rippleside Knife Bin

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: QPR

Darts music: Chelsea Dagger – The Fratellis

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £118.5m
Spend: £44.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget:

Ryan, M	BTN	£0.50
Tarkowski, J	BUR	£3.00
Smith, A	BOU	£0.50
Morgan, W	LEI	£0.50
Rice, D	WHM	£9.00
Foden, P	MCY	£1.00
Matic, N	MUN	£0.50
Ibe, J	BOU	£12.00
March, S	BTN	£15.00
Llorente, F	TOT	£0.50
Gray, D	LEI	£15.00
		£57.50

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £108.5
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £108.5m

Ryan, M	BTN	£0.50
Tarkowski, J	BUR	£3.00
Smith, A	BOU	£0.50
Morgan, W	LEI	£0.50
Klavan, R	LIV	£0.50
Foden, P	MCY	£1.00
Matic, N	MUN	£0.50
Dembele, M	TOT	£0.50
Romeu, O	SOT	£0.50
Ayew, J	CRY	£0.50
Abraham, T	CHE	£0.50
		£8.50

Auction XI

Ryan, M	BTN	£0.50
Tarkowski, J	BUR	£3.00
Smith, A	BOU	£0.50
Morgan, W	LEI	£0.50
Klavan, R	LIV	£0.50
Foden, P	MCY	£1.00
Matic, N	MUN	£0.50
Dembele, M	TOT	£0.50
Romeu, O	SOT	£0.50
Ayew, J	CRY	£0.50
Abraham, T	CHE	£0.50
		£8.50

Still Don’t Know Yet 2018/19

Undecided: The Don’t Know Yet manager

Manager: Pete (Teeside)

Twitter name: @peterball01

Since: 2012

Home ground: Undetermined Street

Training facility: Klub Kudos

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – 14th in 2012/13)

Form
2012/13 – 14th
2013/14 – 17th
2014/15 – 18th (relegated)
2015/16 – 19th (relegated)
2017/18 – 7th

Sympathies: Boro

Darts music: Theme from ‘The Power Game’ – Cyril Stapleton

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £11.5m
Spend: £5m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £6.5m

Etheridge, N (TW1)	CAR	£0.50
Gibson, B	BUR	£4.00
Fosu-Mensah, T	FUL	£1.00
Hoedt, W	SOT	£0.50
Schlupp, J (TW1)	CRY	£0.50
Traore, A	WLV	£11.00
Eriksen, C	TOT	£29.00
Lallana, A	LIV	£0.50
Bernard	EVE	£0.50
Aubameyang, P	ARS	£40.00
Muto, Y (TW1)	NEW	£4.00
		£93.00

Auction XI

Romero, S	MUN	£2.00
Gibson, B	BUR	£4.00
Fosu-Mensah, T	FUL	£1.00
Hoedt, W	SOT	£0.50
Mangala, E	MCY	£0.50
Traore, A	WLV	£11.00
Eriksen, C	TOT	£29.00
Lallana, A	LIV	£0.50
Bernard	EVE	£0.50
Aubameyang, P	ARS	£40.00
Batshuayi, M	CHE	£11.00
		£98.50

Test Team (Please Ignore) 2018/19

Paul pic — Chilling with my bitch: The Sleptember XI manager

Manager: Paul

Twitter name: @whitewashweb

Since: 2016

Home ground: Autumn Road

Training facility: The Schlepp

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2016/17 – 6th
2017/18 – 21st

Sympathies: Manchester United

Darts music: September – Earth, Wind & Fire

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £17m
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £17m

Alisson	LIV	£20.00
Davies, B	TOT	£12.00
Smalling, C	MUN	£6.00
Mustafi, S	ARS	£7.00
Cresswell, A	WHM	£5.00
Mahrez, R	MCY	£19.00
Loftus-Cheek, R	CHE	£0.50
Schurrle, A	FUL	£16.00
Gudmundsson, JB	BUR	£3.00
King, J	BOU	£4.00
Zohore, K	CAR	£0.50
		£93.00

Auction XI

Alisson	LIV	£20.00
Davies, B	TOT	£12.00
Smalling, C	MUN	£6.00
Mustafi, S	ARS	£7.00
Cresswell, A	WHM	£5.00
Mahrez, R	MCY	£19.00
Loftus-Cheek, R	CHE	£0.50
Schurrle, A	FUL	£16.00
Gudmundsson, JB	BUR	£3.00
King, J	BOU	£4.00
Zohore, K	CAR	£0.50
		£93.00

Sporting Lesbian 2018/19

Sloth: The Sporting Lesbian manager

Manager: Ben M (Cumbria)

Twitter name: @BenMarcangelo

Since: 2012

Home ground: Todger Dodger Street

Training facility: The Dyke

Last season: 8th

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2012/13 and 2014/15

Kenna Index rating TBC
2012/13 – 1st
2013/14 – 8th
2014/15 – 1st
2015/16 – missed auction due to washing machine delivery
2016/17 – 8th
2017/18 – 2nd

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Lesbian Seagull – David van Driessen

First transfer window – October 2019

Starting budget: £19m
Spend: £12m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £7m

Darlow, K (TW1)	NEW	£0.50
Bellerin, H	ARS	£10.00
Wan-Bissaka, A (TW1)	CRY	£11.00
Janmaat, D (TW1)	WAT	£0.50
Chilwell, B	LEI	£0.50
Sane, L	MCY	£27.00
Sessegnon, R	FUL	£17.00
Henderson, J	LIV	£0.50
Kovacic, M	CHE	£0.50
Arnautovic, M	WHM	£23.00
Wood, C	BUR	£11.00
		£91.00

Auction XI

Guaita, V	CRY	£0.50
Bellerin, H	ARS	£10.00
Kongolo, T	HUD	£0.50
Schar, F	NEW	£0.50
Chilwell, B	LEI	£0.50
Sane, L	MCY	£27.00
Sessegnon, R	FUL	£17.00
Henderson, J	LIV	£0.50
Kovacic, M	CHE	£0.50
Arnautovic, M	WHM	£23.00
Wood, C	BUR	£11.00
		£91.00

Tottenham Network Solutions 2018/19

Will and Gunnersaurus Rex — Influences at the highest echelons of the game: The TNS manager (left)

Manager: Will (Worcestershire)

Twitter name: @chainfir3

Since: 2010

Home ground: King George’s Park

Training facility: The Alma

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 8th in 2010/11)

Kenna Index rating: N/A
2010/11 – 8th
2012/13 – 19th (relegated)
2013/14 – did not enter
2014/15 – did not enter
2015/16 – 7th
2016/17 – 10th
2017/18 – 13th

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts music: Mary Jane – Rick James

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £9.5m

Leno, B	ARS	£10.00
Otamendi, N	MCY	£18.00
Alderweireld, T	TOT	£11.00
Pereira, R	LEI	£5.00
Lindelof, V	MUN	£0.50
Zaha, W	CRY	£21.00
Anguissa, A (TW1)	FUL	£0.50
Doucoure, A	WAT	£6.00
Gueye, I	EVE	£0.50
Giroud, O	CHE	£14.00
Defoe, J	BOU	£6.00
		£92.50

Auction XI

Leno, B	ARS	£10.00
Otamendi, N	MCY	£18.00
Alderweireld, T	TOT	£11.00
Pereira, R	LEI	£5.00
Lindelof, V	MUN	£0.50
Zaha, W	CRY	£21.00
Savile, J	BRM	£8.00
Doucoure, A	WAT	£6.00
Gueye, I	EVE	£0.50
Giroud, O	CHE	£14.00
Defoe, J	BOU	£6.00
		£100.00

Piss Poor 2018/19

Sucking it in: The Headless Chickens manager

Manager: John N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Guillotine Way

Training facility: The Coop

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2011/12 – 11th
2012/13 – 16th
2013/14 – 9th
2014/15 – 16th
2015/16 – 18th (relegated)
2016/17 – 21st (relegated)
2017/18 – 11th

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Hala Madrid y nada mas

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £16m
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £16m

Schmeichel, K	LEI	£11.00
Kompany, V	MCY	£5.00
Trippier, K	TOT	£15.00
Coleman, S	EVE	£8.00
Koscielny, L	ARS	£9.00
Jorginho	CHE	£6.00
Shelvey, J	NEW	£7.00
Mooy, A	HUD	£5.00
Lingard, J	MUN	£17.00
Sturridge, D	LIV	£9.00
Vietto, L	FUL	£2.00
		£94.00

Auction XI

Schmeichel, K	LEI	£11.00
Kompany, V	MCY	£5.00
Trippier, K	TOT	£15.00
Coleman, S	EVE	£8.00
Koscielny, L	ARS	£9.00
Jorginho	CHE	£6.00
Shelvey, J	NEW	£7.00
Mooy, A	HUD	£5.00
Lingard, J	MUN	£17.00
Sturridge, D	LIV	£9.00
Vietto, L	FUL	£2.00
		£94.00

Hairy Fadjeetas 2018/19

Manager: Aiden (Yorkshire)

Twitter name: @Br15land

Since: 2011

Home ground: Bikini Lane

Training facility: The Growler

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
2011/12 – 15th
2012/13 – 9th
2013/14 – 13th
2014/15 – 10th
2015/16 – 17th (relegated)
2016/17 – 3rd
2017/18 – 8th

Sympathies: Sheffield Wednesday

Darts music: Inner Circle – Sweat

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £20m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget: £19.5m

Dubravka, M	NEW	£2.00
Aurier, S	TOT	£0.50
Monreal, N	ARS	£0.50
Mawson, A (TW2)	FUL	£0.50
Digne, L	EVE	£0.50
Sterling, R	MCY	£29.00
Mata, J	MUN	£5.00
Pritchard, A	HUD	£3.00
Anderson, F	WHM	£11.00
Firmino, R	LIV	£33.00
Ings, D	SOT	£15.00
		£100.00

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales: £0.5m (Christensen to Craven Cottaging)
Remaining budget: £10m

Dubravka, M	NEW	£2.00
Aurier, S	TOT	£0.50
Monreal, N	ARS	£0.50
Moses, V (TW1)	CHE	£0.50
Digne, L	EVE	£0.50
Sterling, R	MCY	£29.00
Mata, J	MUN	£5.00
Pritchard, A	HUD	£3.00
Anderson, F	WHM	£11.00
Firmino, R	LIV	£33.00
Ings, D	SOT	£15.00
		£100.00

Auction XI

Dubravka, M	NEW	£2.00
Aurier, S	TOT	£0.50
Monreal, N	ARS	£0.50
Christensen, A	CHE	£0.50
Digne, L	EVE	£0.50
Sterling, R	MCY	£29.00
Mata, J	MUN	£5.00
Pritchard, A	HUD	£3.00
Anderson, F	WHM	£11.00
Firmino, R	LIV	£33.00
Ings, D	SOT	£15.00
		£100.00