Craven Cottaging 2018/19

Nice rug: The Craven Cottaging manager
Nice rug: The Craven Cottaging manager

Manager: Andrew

Since: 2018

Home ground: Bishop’s Park

Training facility: The Gents

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: Fulham

Darts music: Fast Love – George Michael

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £17m
Spend: £5.5m
Player sales: £0.5m (Gabbiadini to Bala Rinas)
Remaining budget: £12m

de Gea, D MUN  £18.00
Danilo (TW1) MCY  £0.50
Lowton, M BUR  £4.00
Christensen, A (TW1) CHE  £0.50
Stanislas, J BOU  £1.00
Wilshere, J (TW1) WHM  £0.50
Mane, S LIV  £30.00
Alli, D TOT  £25.00
Torreira, L ARS  £0.50
Gayle, D (TW1) NEW  £4.00
Calvert-Lewin, D EVE  £0.50
 £81

Auction XI

de Gea, D MUN  £18.00
Ian Brady BRM  £4.00
Lowton, M BUR  £4.00
Stuart Hazel BRM  £5.00
Stanislas, J BOU  £1.00
Delph, F MCY  £1.00
Mane, S LIV  £30.00
Alli, D TOT  £25.00
Torreira, L ARS  £0.50
Gabbiadini, M SOT  £4.00
Calvert-Lewin, D EVE  £0.50
 £93.00
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Mo Me The Mané 2018/19

Dogged: The Mo Me The Money manager
Dogged: The Mo Me The Money manager

Manager: Mackay (Shrewsbury)

Since: 2018

Home ground: Salah Street

Training facility: The Sadio

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Show Me The Money – Mike Diva

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £13m
Spend: £12.5m
Players sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £0.5m

Lossl, J HUD  £5.00
Rose, D TOT  £8.00
Dunk, L BTN  £4.00
Tarkowski, J BUR  £6.00
Matip, J LIV  £5.00
Silva, D MCY  £22.00
Seri, J FUL  £11.00
Hughes, W WAT  £3.00
Brooks, D (TW1) BOU  £12.00
Rashford, M MUN  £12.00
Bonatini, L (TW1) WLV  £0.50
 £88.50

Auction XI

Lossl, J HUD  £5.00
Rose, D TOT  £8.00
Dunk, L BTN  £4.00
Tarkowski, J BUR  £6.00
Matip, J LIV  £5.00
Silva, D MCY  £22.00
Seri, J FUL  £11.00
Hughes, W WAT  £3.00
Barry Bennell BRM  £16.00
Rashford, M MUN  £12.00
Rolf Harris BRM  £5.00
 £97.00
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Clotted Cream First 2018/19

Bloody Mary: The Clotted Cream First manager
Bloody Mary: The Clotted Cream First manager

Manager: Oli (Devon)

Since: 2018

Home ground: The Dairy

Training facility: Princetown

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: Exeter City

Darts music: Devonshire Cream and Cider – Malcolm McEachern

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £11m
Spend: £10m
Player sales: £0.5m (Lanzini to Lokomotiv Leeds)
Remaining budget: £1.5m

Lloris, H TOT  £15.00
Alexander-Arnold, T LIV  £6.00
Ake, N BOU  £4.00
Lascelles, J NEW  £7.00
Valencia, A MUN  £8.00
McArthur, J CRY  £2.00
Xhaka, G ARS  £0.50
Costa, H (TW1) WLV  £8.00
Barkley, R (TW1) CHE  £2.00
Aguero, S MCY  £40.00
Austin, C SOT  £11.00
 £103.50

Auction XI

Lloris, H TOT  £15.00
Alexander-Arnold, T LIV  £6.00
Ake, N BOU  £4.00
Lascelles, J NEW  £7.00
Valencia, A MUN  £8.00
McArthur, J CRY  £2.00
Xhaka, G ARS  £0.50
Lanzini, M WHM  £5.00
Izquierdo, J BTN  £0.50
Aguero, S MCY  £40.00
Austin, C SOT  £11.00
 £99.00
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Dagger’n Redbridge 2018/19

Rob anon
Hay carumba: The Dagger’n Redbridge manager

Manager: Rob (London)

Twitter name: @pixelbasheriser

Since: 2018

Home ground: Elm Park

Training facility: Rippleside Knife Bin

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
Debut season

Sympathies: QPR

Darts music: Chelsea Dagger – The Fratellis

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £118.5m
Spend: £44.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget:

Ryan, M BTN  £0.50
Tarkowski, J BUR  £3.00
Smith, A BOU  £0.50
Morgan, W LEI  £0.50
Rice, D WHM  £9.00
Foden, P MCY  £1.00
Matic, N MUN  £0.50
Ibe, J BOU  £12.00
March, S BTN  £15.00
Llorente, F TOT  £0.50
Gray, D LEI  £15.00
 £57.50

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £108.5
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £108.5m

Ryan, M BTN  £0.50
Tarkowski, J BUR  £3.00
Smith, A BOU  £0.50
Morgan, W LEI  £0.50
Klavan, R LIV  £0.50
Foden, P MCY  £1.00
Matic, N MUN  £0.50
Dembele, M TOT  £0.50
Romeu, O SOT  £0.50
Ayew, J CRY  £0.50
Abraham, T CHE  £0.50
 £8.50

Auction XI

Ryan, M BTN  £0.50
Tarkowski, J BUR  £3.00
Smith, A BOU  £0.50
Morgan, W LEI  £0.50
Klavan, R LIV  £0.50
Foden, P MCY  £1.00
Matic, N MUN  £0.50
Dembele, M TOT  £0.50
Romeu, O SOT  £0.50
Ayew, J CRY  £0.50
Abraham, T CHE  £0.50
 £8.50
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Still Don’t Know Yet 2018/19

Ball profile pic
Undecided: The Don’t Know Yet manager

Manager: Pete (Teeside)

Twitter name@peterball01

Since: 2012

Home ground: Undetermined Street

Training facility: Klub Kudos

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – 14th in 2012/13)

Form
2012/13 – 14th
2013/14 – 17th
2014/15 – 18th (relegated)
2015/16 – 19th (relegated)
2017/18 – 7th

Sympathies: Boro

Darts musicTheme from ‘The Power Game’ – Cyril Stapleton

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £11.5m
Spend: £5m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £6.5m

Etheridge, N (TW1) CAR  £0.50
Gibson, B BUR  £4.00
Fosu-Mensah, T FUL  £1.00
Hoedt, W SOT  £0.50
Schlupp, J (TW1) CRY  £0.50
Traore, A WLV  £11.00
Eriksen, C TOT  £29.00
Lallana, A LIV  £0.50
Bernard EVE  £0.50
Aubameyang, P ARS  £40.00
Muto, Y (TW1) NEW  £4.00
 £93.00

Auction XI

Romero, S MUN  £2.00
Gibson, B BUR  £4.00
Fosu-Mensah, T FUL  £1.00
Hoedt, W SOT  £0.50
Mangala, E MCY  £0.50
Traore, A WLV  £11.00
Eriksen, C TOT  £29.00
Lallana, A LIV  £0.50
Bernard EVE  £0.50
Aubameyang, P ARS  £40.00
Batshuayi, M CHE  £11.00
 £98.50
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Test Team (Please Ignore) 2018/19

Paul pic
Chilling with my bitch: The Sleptember XI manager

Manager: Paul

Twitter name@whitewashweb

Since: 2016

Home ground: Autumn Road

Training facility: The Schlepp

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2016/17 – 6th
2017/18 – 21st

Sympathies: Manchester United

Darts musicSeptember – Earth, Wind & Fire

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £17m
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £17m

Alisson LIV  £20.00
Davies, B TOT  £12.00
Smalling, C MUN  £6.00
Mustafi, S ARS  £7.00
Cresswell, A WHM  £5.00
Mahrez, R MCY  £19.00
Loftus-Cheek, R CHE  £0.50
Schurrle, A FUL  £16.00
Gudmundsson, JB BUR  £3.00
King, J BOU  £4.00
Zohore, K CAR  £0.50
 £93.00

Auction XI

Alisson LIV  £20.00
Davies, B TOT  £12.00
Smalling, C MUN  £6.00
Mustafi, S ARS  £7.00
Cresswell, A WHM  £5.00
Mahrez, R MCY  £19.00
Loftus-Cheek, R CHE  £0.50
Schurrle, A FUL  £16.00
Gudmundsson, JB BUR  £3.00
King, J BOU  £4.00
Zohore, K CAR  £0.50
 £93.00
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Sporting Lesbian 2018/19

Ben M profile
Sloth: The Sporting Lesbian manager

Manager: Ben M (Cumbria)

Twitter name@BenMarcangelo

Since: 2012

Home ground: Todger Dodger Street

Training facility: The Dyke

Last season: 8th

Trophy cabinet: Champions 2012/13 and 2014/15

Kenna Index rating TBC
2012/13 – 1st
2013/14 – 8th
2014/15 – 1st
2015/16 – missed auction due to washing machine delivery
2016/17 – 8th
2017/18 – 2nd

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts musicLesbian Seagull – David van Driessen

First transfer window – October 2019

Starting budget: £19m
Spend: £12m
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £7m

Darlow, K (TW1) NEW £0.50
Bellerin, H ARS £10.00
Wan-Bissaka, A (TW1) CRY £11.00
Janmaat, D (TW1) WAT £0.50
Chilwell, B LEI £0.50
Sane, L MCY £27.00
Sessegnon, R FUL £17.00
Henderson, J LIV £0.50
Kovacic, M CHE £0.50
Arnautovic, M WHM £23.00
Wood, C BUR £11.00
£91.00

Auction XI

Guaita, V CRY £0.50
Bellerin, H ARS £10.00
Kongolo, T HUD £0.50
Schar, F NEW £0.50
Chilwell, B LEI £0.50
Sane, L MCY £27.00
Sessegnon, R FUL £17.00
Henderson, J LIV £0.50
Kovacic, M CHE £0.50
Arnautovic, M WHM £23.00
Wood, C BUR £11.00
£91.00
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Tottenham Network Solutions 2018/19

Will and Gunnersaurus Rex
Influences at the highest echelons of the game: The TNS manager (left)

Manager: Will (Worcestershire)

Twitter name@chainfir3

Since: 2010

Home ground: King George’s Park

Training facility: The Alma

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 8th in 2010/11)

Kenna Index rating: N/A
2010/11 – 8th
2012/13 – 19th (relegated)
2013/14 – did not enter
2014/15 – did not enter
2015/16 – 7th
2016/17 – 10th
2017/18 – 13th

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts musicMary Jane – Rick James

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10m
Spend: £0.5m 
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £9.5m

Leno, B ARS  £10.00
Otamendi, N MCY  £18.00
Alderweireld, T TOT  £11.00
Pereira, R LEI  £5.00
Lindelof, V MUN  £0.50
Zaha, W CRY  £21.00
Anguissa, A (TW1) FUL  £0.50
Doucoure, A WAT  £6.00
Gueye, I EVE  £0.50
Giroud, O CHE  £14.00
Defoe, J BOU  £6.00
     £92.50

Auction XI

Leno, B ARS  £10.00
Otamendi, N MCY  £18.00
Alderweireld, T TOT  £11.00
Pereira, R LEI  £5.00
Lindelof, V MUN  £0.50
Zaha, W CRY  £21.00
Savile, J BRM  £8.00
Doucoure, A WAT  £6.00
Gueye, I EVE  £0.50
Giroud, O CHE  £14.00
Defoe, J BOU  £6.00
     £100.00

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Piss Poor 2018/19

John N profile pic
Sucking it in: The Headless Chickens manager

Manager: John N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Home ground: Guillotine Way

Training facility: The Coop

Trophy cabinet: empty

Form
2011/12 – 11th
2012/13 – 16th
2013/14 – 9th
2014/15 – 16th
2015/16 – 18th (relegated)
2016/17 – 21st (relegated)
2017/18 – 11th

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts musicHala Madrid y nada mas

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £16m
Spend: N/A
Player sales: N/A
Remaining budget: £16m

Schmeichel, K LEI  £11.00
Kompany, V MCY  £5.00
Trippier, K TOT  £15.00
Coleman, S EVE  £8.00
Koscielny, L ARS  £9.00
Jorginho CHE  £6.00
Shelvey, J NEW  £7.00
Mooy, A HUD  £5.00
Lingard, J MUN  £17.00
Sturridge, D LIV  £9.00
Vietto, L FUL  £2.00
 £94.00

Auction XI

Schmeichel, K LEI  £11.00
Kompany, V MCY  £5.00
Trippier, K TOT  £15.00
Coleman, S EVE  £8.00
Koscielny, L ARS  £9.00
Jorginho CHE  £6.00
Shelvey, J NEW  £7.00
Mooy, A HUD  £5.00
Lingard, J MUN  £17.00
Sturridge, D LIV  £9.00
Vietto, L FUL  £2.00
 £94.00
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Hairy Fadjeetas 2018/19

Aiden
Wheeler dealer: The Hairy Fadjeetas manager

Manager: Aiden (Yorkshire)

Twitter name@Br15land

Since: 2011

Home ground: Bikini Lane

Training facility: The Growler

Trophy cabinet: Empty

Form
2011/12 – 15th
2012/13 – 9th
2013/14 – 13th
2014/15 – 10th
2015/16 – 17th (relegated)
2016/17 – 3rd
2017/18 – 8th

Sympathies: Sheffield Wednesday

Darts musicInner Circle – Sweat

Second transfer window – February 2019

Starting budget: £20m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget: £19.5m

Dubravka, M NEW  £2.00
Aurier, S TOT  £0.50
Monreal, N ARS  £0.50
Mawson, A (TW2) FUL  £0.50
Digne, L EVE  £0.50
Sterling, R MCY  £29.00
Mata, J MUN  £5.00
Pritchard, A HUD  £3.00
Anderson, F WHM  £11.00
Firmino, R LIV  £33.00
Ings, D SOT  £15.00
 £100.00

First transfer window – October 2018

Starting budget: £10m
Spend: £0.5m
Player sales: £0.5m (Christensen to Craven Cottaging)
Remaining budget: £10m

Dubravka, M NEW  £2.00
Aurier, S TOT  £0.50
Monreal, N ARS  £0.50
Moses, V (TW1) CHE  £0.50
Digne, L EVE  £0.50
Sterling, R MCY  £29.00
Mata, J MUN  £5.00
Pritchard, A HUD  £3.00
Anderson, F WHM  £11.00
Firmino, R LIV  £33.00
Ings, D SOT  £15.00
 £100.00

Auction XI

Dubravka, M NEW  £2.00
Aurier, S TOT  £0.50
Monreal, N ARS  £0.50
Christensen, A CHE  £0.50
Digne, L EVE  £0.50
Sterling, R MCY  £29.00
Mata, J MUN  £5.00
Pritchard, A HUD  £3.00
Anderson, F WHM  £11.00
Firmino, R LIV  £33.00
Ings, D SOT  £15.00
 £100.00
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