Islington Sports Islam & Leisure 2017/18

Abdi
Scourge of the high seas: The ISIL manager

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name: @abdinw1

Since: 2010

Home ground: Mogadishu Arena

Training facility: Spyglass Hill

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13

Form
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
2015/16 – 16th
2016/17 – 5th

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Even if the Pirate could keep Alvaro Morata from the auction and retain Alexis Sanchez beyond the next transfer window, the smart money has him throwing it away all over again – 66/1

Auction XI (3-4-3)
Remaining budget: £16.5m

Courtois, T CHE  £ 3.00
Vertonghen, J TOT  £9.00
McAuley, G WBA  £4.00
Britos, M WAT  £0.50
Robertson, A LIV  £0.50
Sane, L MCY  £21.00
Ince, T HUD  £5.00
Bolasie, Y EVE  £0.50
Dr Cliff Huxtable BRM  £7.50
Murray, G BTN  £0.50
Sanchez, A ARS  £32.00
     £83.50
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Islington Sports Islam & Leisure 2016/17

Abdi
Scourge of the high seas: The ISIL manager

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name: @abdinw1

Since: 2010

Home ground: Mogadishu Arena

Training facility: Spyglass Hill

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13

Kenna Index rating: 0.68 – 22nd
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
2015/16 – 16th

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe

Starting XI – August auction

Adrian WHM  £                   3.00
Koscielny, L ARS  £                16.00
McAuley, G WBA  £                   3.00
Keane, M BUR  £                  2.00
Bailly, E MUN  £                   7.00
Cabaye, Y CRY  £                   7.00
Wijnaldum, G (TW2) LIV  £                14.00
Redmond, N SOT  £                13.00
Iheanacho, K (TW2) MCY  £                   7.00
Costa, D CHE  £                27.00
King, J (TW2) BOU  £                   0.50
     £                99.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (1st)

No changes.

Formation: 4-3-3
Remaining budget: £10.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (4th)

In
Barry Bennell – HMP Kenna midfielder – £7m
Adlene Guedioura – Middlesborough midfielder – £2m
Daniel Sturridge – Liverpool striker – £8m

Out
Gigi Wijnaldum – Liverpool midfielder – lost on a Bramble
Kelechi Iheanacho – Man City striker – free
Joshua King – Bournemouth striker – £13m to Walthamstow Reds

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £16.5m

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Le Horn d’Afrique

Manager: Abdi

Nationality: Le Pirate Arab

International honours: none

Formation: 4-4-2

Fabianski, L POL £2m
Stones, J ENG £9m
Olsson, M SWE £0.5m
Fuchs, C AUT £4m
Skrtel, M SVK £7m
Payet, D FRA £14m
Ramsey, A WAL £5m
Koke ESP £3m
Rosicky, T CZE £7m
Ronaldo, C POT £39m
Long, S IRL £5m
£95.5m
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Islington Sports Islam & Leisure 2015/16

Abdi
Scourge of the high seas: The ISIL manager

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name: @abdinw1

Since: 2010

Home ground: Mogadishu Arena

Training facility: Spyglass Hill

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13

Kenna Index rating: 0.68 – 22nd
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe

Season preview in one sentence (on 28 September): For the second auction in a row the absent manager has had Serbian Nemenja thrust into his midfield by the The Rub: one could say auto-Matic-ally.

Vorm, M (TW2) TOT £?m
Sagna, B MCY £0.5m
Soares, C (TW2) SOT £?m
Walker, K (TW1) TOT £11m
Olsson, J WBA £0.5m
Johnson, A (TW2) SUN £?m
Arnautovic, M (TW1) STO £7m
Ayew, J (TW2) AVL £?m
Gosling, D (TW2) BOU £?m
Okazaki, S (TW2) LEI £?m
Ings, D LIV £0.5m
£?m

First transfer window – Friday 2 October 2015

In -£24.5m
Gomes, H – Watford goalkeeper – £3m
Galloway, B – Everton defender – £2m
Walker, K – Tottenham defender – £11m
Arnautovic, M – Stoke midfielder – £7m
Inler, G – Leicester midfielder – £0.5m
Moses, V – West Ham midfielder – £0.5m
Bamford, P – Crystal Palace striker – £0.5m

Out +£0.5m
Vorm, M – Tottenham goalkeeper – free
Brown, W – Sunderland defender – free
Bardsley, P – Stoke defender – free
Valencia, A – Man United midfielder – free
Wanyama, V – Southampton midfielder – free
Dyer, N – Leicester midfielder – £0.5m (to Lokomotiv Leeds)
Welbeck, D – Arsenal striker – free

Remaining budget: £2m

Second transfer window – Friday 5 February 2016

In
Vorm, M – Tottenham goalkeeper – £?m
Soares, C – Southampton defender – £?m
Johnson, A – Sunderland midfielder – £?m
Ayew, J – Aston Villa midfielder – £?m
Gosling, D – Bournemouth midfielder – £?m
Okazaki, S – Leicester striker – £?m

Out
Gomes, H – Watford goalkeeper – free
Galloway, B – Everton defender – free
Matic, N – Chelsea midfielder – free
Inler, G – Stoke midfielder – free
Moses, V – West Ham midfielder – free
Bamford, P – Crystal Palace striker – free

Remaining budget: £?m

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Hoxton Pirates 2014/15

Abdi
Scourge of the Old Street roundabout: The Hoxton Pirates manager

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name: @abdinw1

Since: 2010

Last season: 21st (relegated)

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe

Season preview in one sentence: Unable to attend the auction because of commitments in ‘Durrby’, the Somali’s automatically-generated side shows flickers of guile, and leaves most wondering whether he could have done better in person.

Fabianski, L (TW2) SWA £0.50
Davies, B (TW2) TOT £0.50
Manquillo, J (TW2) LIV £0.50
Coloccini, F (TW2) NEW £0.50
de Laet, R (TW1) LEI £3.00
Matic, N CHE £0.50
Song, A (TW2) WHU £2.00
Cllr Martin Kimber (TW2) (Bramble) ROT £0.50
Gary Glitter (TW2) (Bramble) HMP £0.50
Welbeck, D (TW2) ARS £0.50
Ings, D (TW2) BUR £11.00
£20m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

In
Wright, R – goalkeeper, MCY – £2m (Bramble)
de Laet, R – defender, LEI – £3m
Wright-Phillips, S – midfielder, QPR – £4m
Evans, C – striker, OLD – £4m (Bramble)

Out
Robles – goalkeeper, EVE – £0m
Upson, M – defender, LEI – £0m
Lampard, F – midfielder, MCY – £0m
Campbell, J – striker, ARS – £0m

Remaining budget: £7m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In 
Fabianski, L – goalkeeper, SWA – £0.5m
Davies, B – defender, TOT – £0.5m
Manquillo, J – defender, LIV – £0.5m
Coloccini, F – defender, NEW – £0.5m
Song, A – midfielder, WHU – £2m
Former Rotherham Counsellor Martin Kimber – midfielder, ROT – £0.5m (Titus Bramble player)
Gary Glitter – midfielder, HMP – £0.5m (Titus Bramble player)
Welbeck, D – striker, ARS – £0.5m
Ings, D – striker, BUR – £11m

Out
Wright, R – goalkeeper, MCY – £0m
Dier, E – defender, TOT – £0m
Wilson, M – defender, STO – £0m
Delaney, D – defender, CRY – £0m
Wright-Phillips, S – midfielder, QPR – £0m
Januzaj, A – midfielder, MUN – £0m (lost under Titus Bramble ruling)
Ramirez, G – midfielder, HUL – £0m (lost under Titus Bramble ruling)
Zarate, M – striker, WHU – £0m
Ched Evans – striker, TBR – £0m

Remaining budget: £0.5m

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Botafogo Pirates FC

Manager: Abdi

Nationality: Somalia

International honours: none

 

Romero, S – ARG – GK  £3.00 
Luiz, D – BRA – DEF  £15.00 
Boateng, J – GER – DEF  £9.00 
Inkoom, S – GHA – DEF  £1.00 
Godin, D – URU – DEF  £11.00 
Kovacic, M – CRO – MID  £11.00 
Xavi – ESP – MID  £10.00 
Rodriguez, J – COL – MID  £17.00 
Wilshere, J – ENG – MID  £9.00 
Remy, L – FRA – STR  £7.00 
Soudani, E – ALG – STR  £6.50 
 £99.50 

 

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Spartak Mogadishu 2013/14

Abdi
Two fingers: The Spartak Mogadishu manager

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name: @abdinw1

Since: 2010

Last season: 8th

Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe

Outlook (on 24 September 2013): Spartak Mogadishu stunned the whole league in May when they lifted their first piece of the silverware, the Canesten Combi Cup. Not writing anything down and drinking heavily, the manager traditionally approached auctions with the gay abandon of an Al-Shabab shopping spree, and his reputation of firebrand was galvanised when he became the first manager to resign in the middle of an auction at the Emmanuel Olisadebe 2012 Euros. Attending last month’s all-dayer for the first time outside of Ramadan appeared to temper the Somali, and he even hooked some worthwhile players.

At the unveiling of the new squad at the club’s Spyglass Hill training facility, the manager admitted he felt slightly hornswoggled at the purchase of Glenn Murray, who’s been on crutches since May and will continue to be for some time. In Robert van Wolfswinkel, Marco van Ginkel and Johnny Heitinga, the manager has three players to feature in the national side for Holland, a country known throughout history for its maritime tradition. Hernandez, Lallana, Kolarov and Jaaskelainen all started the season in strong form.

Despite this Spartak are not managing to gel and slipping down the table with each passing week. In the Kenna there’s a very fine line between success or failure; between a white, sandy Caribbean island, a crate of rum and Keira Knightly, or five minutes in the upstairs room of a tavern with a toothless crone.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3nM2Ul4rLU&w=420&h=315]

(B) denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble ruling.

Jaaskelainen, J WHM £12m
Chiriches, V TOT £2.5m
Kolarov, A MCY £10m
Gabbidon, D CRY £3.5m
Olsson, J WBA £1m
Lallana, A SOT £12m
Cleverley, T MUN £7m
Hernandez, P SWA £15m
Barkley, R EVE £8.5m
van Wolfswinkel, R NOR £13m
Jones, K CAR £0.5m
£85m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £12.5m, remaining budget: £1.5m, net loss £11m

Out       In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
DEF Bramble, T FAG Free DEF Taylor, A CAR £0.5m
DEF Heitinga, J EVE Free DEF Olsson, J WBA £1.0m
MID Van Ginkel, M CHE Free MID Barkley, R EVE £8.5m
STR Murray, G CRY Free STR Gayle, D CHE £0.5m
STR Kone, A (released on a free) EVE £0.5m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out       In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
DEF Taylor, A CAR Free DEF Chiriches, V TOT £2.5m
DEF Shotton, R STO Free DEF Gabbidon, D CRY £3.5m
STR Gayle, D CRY £0.5m STR Jones, K CAR £0.5m
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Spartak Mogadishu

Manager: Abdi (Somalia)

Twitter name: @abdinw1

Since: 2010

Last season: 4th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – last season)

Sympathies: Arsenal

Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe – The Captain Pugwash theme

Outlook: There were always concerns that the Mog manager’s haphazard approach to auction tactics would overshadow his campaign and, one or two players aside, they appear well founded. Midfield linchpin Luka Modric left for Spain hours after the Pirates signed him, leaving a dressing room bubbling with poor temperament, untested talent and indifferent previous.

Surprisingly, no Brambles.

Reina, P LIV £0.5m
Evra, P MUN £15m
Shawcross, R STO £11m
Bramble, T SUN £0.5m
Riether, S FUL £0.5m
Lallana, A SOT £14m
Gosling, D (B) NEW £19.5m
Nolan, K WHM £5m
Taarabt, A QPR £1m
Lukaku, R WBA £14m
Benteke, C AVL £35m
 Total £116m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Pollitt, M (B) WIG £11m Reina, P LIV £0.5m
Shelvey, J ARS £11m Gosling, D (B) NEW £19.5m
Ameobi, Shola NEW £0.5m Benteke, C AVL £35m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

Out     In
Krul, T NEW £21m Pollitt, M (B) WIG £11m
Koscielny, L ARS £17m Bramble, T SUN £0.5m
Modric, L RMA £1m Shelvey, J LIV £11m
Campbell, F SUN £0.5m Ameobi, Shola NEW £0.5m
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The Horn of Africa

Manager: Abdi

Nationality: Somalia

Domestic club side: Spartak Mogadishu

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup: 13th (out of 15)

4-4-2

(‘TB’ denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble Ruling)

Sifakis, M Greece £0.5m
Pepe Portugal £5m
Piszczek, L Poland £16m
Shishkin, R Russia £4m
Olsson, M Sweden £7.5m
de Jong, N (TB) Holland £0.5m
Khedira, S Germany £13m
Busquets, S Spain £18m
Eriksen, C Denmark £12m
Carroll, A England £12m
Di Natale, A Italy £7.5m
Total £96m
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Spartak Mogadishu (second window)

Manager: Mr Abdi Ali (SOM)

Since: 2010

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Arsenal

Al Habsi, A WIG £6m
Hangeland, B FUL £14m
Distin, S EVE £8.5m
Smalling, C MUN £2.5m
Mertesacker, P ARS £10m
Richardson, K SUN £3m
Henderson, J LIV £6.5m
Jarvis, M WLV £10m
Bale, G TOT £23m
Graham, D SWA £11m
Cisse, P NEW £0.5m
£95m
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