The world's leading London pub-based fantasy football league
| Foster, B | WAT | £ 0.50 |
| Willems, J | NEW | £ 0.50 |
| Evans, J | LEI | £ 2.00 |
| Webster, A | BTN | £ 1.00 |
| Sidibe, D | EVE | £ 0.50 |
| Pereira, A | MUN | 0.5 |
| Mahrez, R | MCY | £ 11.00 |
| Sissoko, M | TOT | £ 3.00 |
| Fabinho | LIV | £ 6.00 |
| Robinson, C | SHF | 0.5 |
| Batshuayi, M | CHE | 0.5 |
| £ 24.50 |
Manager: Abdi (Somalia)
Twitter name: @abdinw1
Since: 2010
Home ground: Mogadishu Arena
Training facility: Spyglass Hill
Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13
Form
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
2015/16 – 16th
2016/17 – 5th
2017/18 – 18th
Sympathies: Arsenal
Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe
Starting budget: £12m
Spend: £6.5m
Player sales:
Remaining budget: £m
| Hart, J | BUR | £2.00 |
| Maguire, H | LEI | £12.00 |
| Bamba, S (TW2) | CAR | £0.50 |
| Holebas, J (TW1) | WAT | £0.50 |
| Bailly, E | MUN | £6.00 |
| Billing, P (TW2) | HUD | £6.00 |
| Mkhitaryan, H | ARS | £19.00 |
| Redmond, N (TW1) | SOT | £8.00 |
| Knockaert, A (TW1) | BTN | £0.50 |
| Heung-min, S | TOT | £18.00 |
| Rondon, S | NEW | £12.00 |
| £84.50 |
Starting budget: £10.5m
Spend: £9.5m
Player sales: £1m (Danilo and Wilshere to Craven Cottaging for £0.5m each)
Remaining budget: £2m
| Hart, J | BUR | £2.00 |
| Maguire, H | LEI | £12.00 |
| Kenny, J (TW1) | EVE | £0.50 |
| Holebas, J (TW1) | WAT | £0.50 |
| Bailly, E | MUN | £6.00 |
| Fabregas, C | CHE | £8.00 |
| Mkhitaryan, H | ARS | £19.00 |
| Redmond, N (TW1) | SOT | £8.00 |
| Knockaert, A (TW1) | BTN | £o.50 |
| Heung-min, S | TOT | £18.00 |
| Rondon, S | NEW | £12.00 |
| £86.50 |
| Hart, J | BUR | £2.00 |
| Maguire, H | LEI | £12.00 |
| Danilo | MCY | £0.50 |
| Soares, C | SOT | £3.00 |
| Bailly, E | MUN | £6.00 |
| Fabregas, C | CHE | £8.00 |
| Mkhitaryan, H | ARS | £19.00 |
| Wilshere, J | WHM | £7.00 |
| Besic, M | EVE | £12.00 |
| Heung-min, S | TOT | £18.00 |
| Rondon, S | NEW | £12.00 |
| £99.50 |
Manager: Abdi (Somalia)
Twitter name: @abdinw1
Since: 2010
Home ground: Mogadishu Arena
Training facility: Spyglass Hill
Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13
Form
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
2015/16 – 16th
2016/17 – 5th
Sympathies: Arsenal
Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe
What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Even if the Pirate could keep Alvaro Morata from the auction and retain Alexis Sanchez beyond the next transfer window, the smart money has him throwing it away all over again – 66/1
Player sales: Xhaka to Sleptember XI for £10m
| Courtois, T | CHE | £ 3.00 |
| Vertonghen, J | TOT | £9.00 |
| McAuley, G | WBA | £4.00 |
| Ward, S (TW1) | BUR | £22.00 |
| Carrillo, A (TW2) | WAT | £0.50 |
| Sane, L | MCY | £21.00 |
| Ince, T | HUD | £5.00 |
| Bolasie, Y | EVE | £0.50 |
| Mkhitaryan, H (TW2 – from Sporting Lesbian) | ARS | £18.00 |
| Sorloth, A (TW2) | CRY | £0.50 |
| Slimani, I (TW2) | NEW | £0.50 |
| £84m |
Player sales: Alexis Sanchez to Piss Poor for £22m
| Courtois, T | CHE | £ 3.00 |
| Vertonghen, J | TOT | £9.00 |
| McAuley, G | WBA | £4.00 |
| Ward, S (TW1) | BUR | £22.00 |
| Xhaka, G (TW1) | ARS | £0.50 |
| Sane, L | MCY | £21.00 |
| Ince, T | HUD | £5.00 |
| Bolasie, Y | EVE | £0.50 |
| Sakho, D (TW1) | WHU | £0.50 |
| Mitrovic, A (TW1) | NEW | £0.50 |
| Hemed, T (TW1) | BTN | £19.00 |
| £85m |
| Courtois, T | CHE | £ 3.00 |
| Vertonghen, J | TOT | £9.00 |
| McAuley, G | WBA | £4.00 |
| Britos, M | WAT | £0.50 |
| Robertson, A | LIV | £0.50 |
| Sane, L | MCY | £21.00 |
| Ince, T | HUD | £5.00 |
| Bolasie, Y | EVE | £0.50 |
| Dr Cliff Huxtable | BRM | £7.50 |
| Murray, G | BTN | £0.50 |
| Sanchez, A | ARS | £32.00 |
| £83.50 |
Manager: Abdi (Somalia)
Twitter name: @abdinw1
Since: 2010
Home ground: Mogadishu Arena
Training facility: Spyglass Hill
Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13
Kenna Index rating: 0.68 – 22nd
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
2015/16 – 16th
Sympathies: Arsenal
Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe
| Adrian | WHM | £ 3.00 |
| Koscielny, L | ARS | £ 16.00 |
| McAuley, G | WBA | £ 3.00 |
| Keane, M | BUR | £ 2.00 |
| Bailly, E | MUN | £ 7.00 |
| Cabaye, Y | CRY | £ 7.00 |
| Wijnaldum, G (TW2) | LIV | £ 14.00 |
| Redmond, N | SOT | £ 13.00 |
| Iheanacho, K (TW2) | MCY | £ 7.00 |
| Costa, D | CHE | £ 27.00 |
| King, J (TW2) | BOU | £ 0.50 |
| £ 99.50 |
No changes.
Formation: 4-3-3
Remaining budget: £10.5m
In
Barry Bennell – HMP Kenna midfielder – £7m
Adlene Guedioura – Middlesborough midfielder – £2m
Daniel Sturridge – Liverpool striker – £8m
Out
Gigi Wijnaldum – Liverpool midfielder – lost on a Bramble
Kelechi Iheanacho – Man City striker – free
Joshua King – Bournemouth striker – £13m to Walthamstow Reds
Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £16.5m
Manager: Abdi
Nationality: Le Pirate Arab
International honours: none
Formation: 4-4-2
| Fabianski, L | POL | £2m |
| Stones, J | ENG | £9m |
| Olsson, M | SWE | £0.5m |
| Fuchs, C | AUT | £4m |
| Skrtel, M | SVK | £7m |
| Payet, D | FRA | £14m |
| Ramsey, A | WAL | £5m |
| Koke | ESP | £3m |
| Rosicky, T | CZE | £7m |
| Ronaldo, C | POT | £39m |
| Long, S | IRL | £5m |
| £95.5m |
Manager: Abdi (Somalia)
Twitter name: @abdinw1
Since: 2010
Home ground: Mogadishu Arena
Training facility: Spyglass Hill
Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13
Kenna Index rating: 0.68 – 22nd
2010/11 – 14th
2011/12 – 5th
2012/13 – 8th
2013/14 – 21st (relegated)
2014/15 – 20th (relegated)
Sympathies: Arsenal
Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe
Season preview in one sentence (on 28 September): For the second auction in a row the absent manager has had Serbian Nemenja thrust into his midfield by the The Rub: one could say auto-Matic-ally.
| Vorm, M (TW2) | TOT | £?m |
| Sagna, B | MCY | £0.5m |
| Soares, C (TW2) | SOT | £?m |
| Walker, K (TW1) | TOT | £11m |
| Olsson, J | WBA | £0.5m |
| Johnson, A (TW2) | SUN | £?m |
| Arnautovic, M (TW1) | STO | £7m |
| Ayew, J (TW2) | AVL | £?m |
| Gosling, D (TW2) | BOU | £?m |
| Okazaki, S (TW2) | LEI | £?m |
| Ings, D | LIV | £0.5m |
| £?m |
In -£24.5m
Gomes, H – Watford goalkeeper – £3m
Galloway, B – Everton defender – £2m
Walker, K – Tottenham defender – £11m
Arnautovic, M – Stoke midfielder – £7m
Inler, G – Leicester midfielder – £0.5m
Moses, V – West Ham midfielder – £0.5m
Bamford, P – Crystal Palace striker – £0.5m
Out +£0.5m
Vorm, M – Tottenham goalkeeper – free
Brown, W – Sunderland defender – free
Bardsley, P – Stoke defender – free
Valencia, A – Man United midfielder – free
Wanyama, V – Southampton midfielder – free
Dyer, N – Leicester midfielder – £0.5m (to Lokomotiv Leeds)
Welbeck, D – Arsenal striker – free
Remaining budget: £2m
In
Vorm, M – Tottenham goalkeeper – £?m
Soares, C – Southampton defender – £?m
Johnson, A – Sunderland midfielder – £?m
Ayew, J – Aston Villa midfielder – £?m
Gosling, D – Bournemouth midfielder – £?m
Okazaki, S – Leicester striker – £?m
Out
Gomes, H – Watford goalkeeper – free
Galloway, B – Everton defender – free
Matic, N – Chelsea midfielder – free
Inler, G – Stoke midfielder – free
Moses, V – West Ham midfielder – free
Bamford, P – Crystal Palace striker – free
Remaining budget: £?m
Manager: Abdi (Somalia)
Twitter name: @abdinw1
Since: 2010
Last season: 21st (relegated)
Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13
Sympathies: Arsenal
Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe
Season preview in one sentence: Unable to attend the auction because of commitments in ‘Durrby’, the Somali’s automatically-generated side shows flickers of guile, and leaves most wondering whether he could have done better in person.
| Fabianski, L (TW2) | SWA | £0.50 |
| Davies, B (TW2) | TOT | £0.50 |
| Manquillo, J (TW2) | LIV | £0.50 |
| Coloccini, F (TW2) | NEW | £0.50 |
| de Laet, R (TW1) | LEI | £3.00 |
| Matic, N | CHE | £0.50 |
| Song, A (TW2) | WHU | £2.00 |
| Cllr Martin Kimber (TW2) (Bramble) | ROT | £0.50 |
| Gary Glitter (TW2) (Bramble) | HMP | £0.50 |
| Welbeck, D (TW2) | ARS | £0.50 |
| Ings, D (TW2) | BUR | £11.00 |
| £20m |
In
Wright, R – goalkeeper, MCY – £2m (Bramble)
de Laet, R – defender, LEI – £3m
Wright-Phillips, S – midfielder, QPR – £4m
Evans, C – striker, OLD – £4m (Bramble)
Out
Robles – goalkeeper, EVE – £0m
Upson, M – defender, LEI – £0m
Lampard, F – midfielder, MCY – £0m
Campbell, J – striker, ARS – £0m
Remaining budget: £7m
In
Fabianski, L – goalkeeper, SWA – £0.5m
Davies, B – defender, TOT – £0.5m
Manquillo, J – defender, LIV – £0.5m
Coloccini, F – defender, NEW – £0.5m
Song, A – midfielder, WHU – £2m
Former Rotherham Counsellor Martin Kimber – midfielder, ROT – £0.5m (Titus Bramble player)
Gary Glitter – midfielder, HMP – £0.5m (Titus Bramble player)
Welbeck, D – striker, ARS – £0.5m
Ings, D – striker, BUR – £11m
Out
Wright, R – goalkeeper, MCY – £0m
Dier, E – defender, TOT – £0m
Wilson, M – defender, STO – £0m
Delaney, D – defender, CRY – £0m
Wright-Phillips, S – midfielder, QPR – £0m
Januzaj, A – midfielder, MUN – £0m (lost under Titus Bramble ruling)
Ramirez, G – midfielder, HUL – £0m (lost under Titus Bramble ruling)
Zarate, M – striker, WHU – £0m
Ched Evans – striker, TBR – £0m
Remaining budget: £0.5m
Manager: Abdi
Nationality: Somalia
International honours: none
| Romero, S – ARG – GK | £3.00 |
| Luiz, D – BRA – DEF | £15.00 |
| Boateng, J – GER – DEF | £9.00 |
| Inkoom, S – GHA – DEF | £1.00 |
| Godin, D – URU – DEF | £11.00 |
| Kovacic, M – CRO – MID | £11.00 |
| Xavi – ESP – MID | £10.00 |
| Rodriguez, J – COL – MID | £17.00 |
| Wilshere, J – ENG – MID | £9.00 |
| Remy, L – FRA – STR | £7.00 |
| Soudani, E – ALG – STR | £6.50 |
| £99.50 |
Manager: Abdi (Somalia)
Twitter name: @abdinw1
Since: 2010
Last season: 8th
Trophy cabinet: Canesten Combi Cup winner 2012/13
Sympathies: Arsenal
Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe
Outlook (on 24 September 2013): Spartak Mogadishu stunned the whole league in May when they lifted their first piece of the silverware, the Canesten Combi Cup. Not writing anything down and drinking heavily, the manager traditionally approached auctions with the gay abandon of an Al-Shabab shopping spree, and his reputation of firebrand was galvanised when he became the first manager to resign in the middle of an auction at the Emmanuel Olisadebe 2012 Euros. Attending last month’s all-dayer for the first time outside of Ramadan appeared to temper the Somali, and he even hooked some worthwhile players.
At the unveiling of the new squad at the club’s Spyglass Hill training facility, the manager admitted he felt slightly hornswoggled at the purchase of Glenn Murray, who’s been on crutches since May and will continue to be for some time. In Robert van Wolfswinkel, Marco van Ginkel and Johnny Heitinga, the manager has three players to feature in the national side for Holland, a country known throughout history for its maritime tradition. Hernandez, Lallana, Kolarov and Jaaskelainen all started the season in strong form.
Despite this Spartak are not managing to gel and slipping down the table with each passing week. In the Kenna there’s a very fine line between success or failure; between a white, sandy Caribbean island, a crate of rum and Keira Knightly, or five minutes in the upstairs room of a tavern with a toothless crone.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3nM2Ul4rLU&w=420&h=315]
(B) denotes forfeit player awarded under the Titus Bramble ruling.
| Jaaskelainen, J | WHM | £12m |
| Chiriches, V | TOT | £2.5m |
| Kolarov, A | MCY | £10m |
| Gabbidon, D | CRY | £3.5m |
| Olsson, J | WBA | £1m |
| Lallana, A | SOT | £12m |
| Cleverley, T | MUN | £7m |
| Hernandez, P | SWA | £15m |
| Barkley, R | EVE | £8.5m |
| van Wolfswinkel, R | NOR | £13m |
| Jones, K | CAR | £0.5m |
| £85m |
Starting budget: £12.5m, remaining budget: £1.5m, net loss £11m
| Out | In | ||||||
| Pos | Player | Team | Sold | Pos | Player | Team | Paid |
| DEF | Bramble, T | FAG | Free | DEF | Taylor, A | CAR | £0.5m |
| DEF | Heitinga, J | EVE | Free | DEF | Olsson, J | WBA | £1.0m |
| MID | Van Ginkel, M | CHE | Free | MID | Barkley, R | EVE | £8.5m |
| STR | Murray, G | CRY | Free | STR | Gayle, D | CHE | £0.5m |
| STR | Kone, A (released on a free) | EVE | £0.5m |
| Out | In | ||||||
| Pos | Player | Team | Sold | Pos | Player | Team | Paid |
| DEF | Taylor, A | CAR | Free | DEF | Chiriches, V | TOT | £2.5m |
| DEF | Shotton, R | STO | Free | DEF | Gabbidon, D | CRY | £3.5m |
| STR | Gayle, D | CRY | £0.5m | STR | Jones, K | CAR | £0.5m |
Manager: Abdi (Somalia)
Twitter name: @abdinw1
Since: 2010
Last season: 4th
Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – last season)
Sympathies: Arsenal
Darts music: The Trumpet Hornpipe – The Captain Pugwash theme
Outlook: There were always concerns that the Mog manager’s haphazard approach to auction tactics would overshadow his campaign and, one or two players aside, they appear well founded. Midfield linchpin Luka Modric left for Spain hours after the Pirates signed him, leaving a dressing room bubbling with poor temperament, untested talent and indifferent previous.
Surprisingly, no Brambles.
| Reina, P | LIV | £0.5m |
| Evra, P | MUN | £15m |
| Shawcross, R | STO | £11m |
| Bramble, T | SUN | £0.5m |
| Riether, S | FUL | £0.5m |
| Lallana, A | SOT | £14m |
| Gosling, D (B) | NEW | £19.5m |
| Nolan, K | WHM | £5m |
| Taarabt, A | QPR | £1m |
| Lukaku, R | WBA | £14m |
| Benteke, C | AVL | £35m |
| Total | £116m |
| Out | In | ||||
| Pollitt, M (B) | WIG | £11m | Reina, P | LIV | £0.5m |
| Shelvey, J | ARS | £11m | Gosling, D (B) | NEW | £19.5m |
| Ameobi, Shola | NEW | £0.5m | Benteke, C | AVL | £35m |
| Out | In | ||||
| Krul, T | NEW | £21m | Pollitt, M (B) | WIG | £11m |
| Koscielny, L | ARS | £17m | Bramble, T | SUN | £0.5m |
| Modric, L | RMA | £1m | Shelvey, J | LIV | £11m |
| Campbell, F | SUN | £0.5m | Ameobi, Shola | NEW | £0.5m |
