No Hay Fiesta Sin Iniesta 2017/18

Carles
Showman: The No Fiesta Without Iniesta manager

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Home ground: Camp de la Independencia

Training facility: The Farmhouse

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 5th in 2012/13)

Form
2010/2011 – 9th
2011/12 – 14th
2012/13 – 5th
2012/13 – 15th
2013/14 – 17th
2015/16 – 17th
2016/17 – 22nd (last)

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

What the chalkstripes in Kenna HQ speculations department are saying: Catalan tries to break his four-year slump with star signings in midfield and a shiny new goalkeeper, but looks light up top and has poor transfer window attendance record – 30/1

Auction XI (4-4-2)
Remaining budget: £13.5m

Moraes, E MCY  £ 4.00
Davies, B TOT  £4.00
Holebas, J WAT  £3.00
Daniels, C BOU  £2.00
Coleman, S EVE  £ 0.50
Hazard, E CHE  £ 33.00
Coutinho, P LIV  £31.00
Ramsey, A ARS  £ 6.00
Afellay, I STO  £ 0.50
Dembele CET  £0.50
Long, S SOT  £2.00
     £86.50
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Just Put Carles 2016/17

Carles
Showman: The Just Put Carles manager

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Home ground: Camp de la Independencia

Training facility: The Farmhouse

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 5th in 2012/13)

Kenna Index rating: 0.604 – 16th
2010/2011 – 9th
2011/12 – 14th
2012/13 – 5th
2012/13 – 15th
2013/14 – 17th
2015/16 – 17th

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

Remaining budget: £9.5m (did not attend auction, average remaining budget of managers who did)

Starting XI – August auction

Foster, B WBA £0.50
Wimmer, K TOT £0.50
Tomkins, J CRY £0.50
Byram, S WHM £0.50
Kone, L SUN £0.50
Navas, J MCY £0.50
Lingard, J MUN £0.50
Ox-Chamberlain, A ARS £0.50
Cuadrado, J JUV £0.50
Balotelli, M NIC £0.50
Ulloa, L LEI £0.50
£5.50

First transfer window – Friday 7 October 2016 (22nd)

No changes.

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £9.5m

Second transfer window – Friday 10 February 2017 (22nd)

No changes.

Formation: 4-4-2
Remaining budget: £9.5m

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Just Put Carles 2015/16

Carles
Showman: The Just Put Carles manager

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Home ground: Camp de la Independencia

Training facility: The Farmhouse

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 5th in 2012/13)

Kenna Index rating: 0.604 – 16th
2010/2011 – 9th
2011/12 – 14th
2012/13 – 5th
2012/13 – 15th
2013/14 – 17th

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

Season preview in one sentence (on 14 September): Five weeks in and already £89m on those three players appears a colossal blunder.

Given, S STO £0.5m
Collins, J WHM £2m
Yoshida, M SOT £0.5m
van Aanholt, P SUN £0.5m
Moreno, A LIV £0.5m
Fabregas, C CHE £21m
Blind, D MUN £0.5m
Johnson, B DER £2m
Navas, J MCY £0.5m
Kane, H TOT £28m
Sanchez, A ARS £40m
£96m

First transfer window – Friday 2 October 2015

No changes.

Remaining budget: £16m

Second transfer window – Friday 5 February 2016

No changes.

Remaining budget: £16m

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Just Put Carles 2014/15

Carles
Showman: The Just Put Carles manager

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Last season: 15th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 5th in 2012/13)

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

Season preview in one sentence: All of a sudden Danny Welbeck looks like a good signing.

Pantilimon, C SUN £0.50
Zabaleta, P MCY £0.50
Ward, J (TW2) CRY £4.00
Clark, C AVL £0.50
Bardsley, P STO £0.50
Ward-Prowse, J (TW2) SOT £9.00
Ramires CHE £0.50
Chadli, N TOT £0.50
Osman, L EVE £0.50
Carroll, A WHM £0.50
Vargas, E (TW2) QPR £0.50
    £17.50m

First transfer window – Friday 17 October 2014

No transfers.

Remaining budget: £15m

Second transfer window – Saturday 7 February 2015

In
Ward, J – defender, CRY – £4m
Ward-Prowse, J – midfielder, SOT – £9m
Vargas, E – striker, QPR – £0.5m

Out
Enrique, J – defender, LIV – £2m
Wilshere, J – midfielder, ARS – £0m
Welbeck, D – striker, ARS – £0.5m

Remaining budget: £9m

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Ipanema Catalans

Manager: Carles

Nationality: Catalan

International honours: none

Corona, J – MEX – GK  £0.50 
Corluka, V – CRO – DEF  £0.50 
Smalling, C – ENG – DEF  £0.50 
Abate, I – ITA – DEF  £4.00 
Boka, A – CIV – DEF  £0.50 
Oscar – BRA – MID  £32.00 
Alonso, X – ESP – MID  £17.00 
Pogba, P – FRA – MID  £18.00 
Gago, F – ARG – MID  £0.50 
Lukaku, R – BEL – STR  £10.00 
Klose, M – GER – STR  £0.50 
   £84.00 
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Just Put Carles 2013/14

Carles
Showman: The Just Put Carles manager

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Last season: 5th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – last season)

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

Outlook (on 4 September): The Just Put Carles boss is one of a trio of Catalans in the Kenna who not in their wildest childhood dreams could have imagined emigration to the UK would end in competing at the game’s highest level. Overcoming his birth in the relative football backwater of the Costa Brava, last season the JPC boss became the Kenna’s most successful foreign manager in the league’s history by finishing in fifth position. Achievement earned the curiosity of his girlfriend, who attended last month’s auction to see for herself just what all the fuss was about. No doubt she was made to regret her decision when the new auction wildcards were unveiled.

Unlike his fellow conquistadores, the JPC manager chose to avoid the tactic of just signing Hispanic players. While Rapids de Cullons CF have five and PSV Mornington have seven, JPC boasts just Angel Rangel – an established starter who will play in defence alongside Guy Demel, Andy Wilkinson and Chris Smalling, in front of goalkeeper Tim Howard. Fernandinho, Dembele, Kacaniklic and Henderson all appear to be getting game time this campaign. Only Ba and Sanogo up front look like bench warmers.

Crucially, the manager takes £13m into the first transfer window in October, making JPC the fourth richest club in the league.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChFJOYO622Y&w=420&h=315]

Howard, T EVE £9m
Smalling, C MUN £1m
Rosenior, L HUL £2m
Rangel, A SWA £5m
Demel, G WHM £2.5m
Mutch, J CAR £5.5m
Fernandinho MCY £30m
Colback, J SUN £0.5m
Henderson, J LIV £0.5m
Walters, J STO £0.5m
Ameobi, Sh NEW £0.5m
£57m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Did not attend. League membership under review.

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out In
Position Player Team Sold Position Player Team Paid
DEF Wilkinson, A STO Free DEF Rosenior, L HUL £2m
MID Dembele, M TOT Free MID Mutch, J CAR £5.5m
MID Kacanilkic, A FUL Free MID Colback, J SUN £0.5m
STR Ba, D CHE Free STR Walters, J STO £0.5m
STR Sanogo, Y ARS Free STR Ameobi, Sh NEW £2m
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Just Put Carles

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Last season: 14th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 9th in 2010/11)

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

Outlook: Retained the majestic services of David Silva for £10m than last season, but the manager only bought four more players at auction before leaving faster than an Alex Santos commute once he discovered his choice of wardrobe would mean buying the committee a round. Filled by Kenna HQ using the accepted procedure, the team now contains former Still Don’t Know Yet defender James Collins.

No Brambles

Schwarzer, M FUL £0.5m
Walker, K TOT £12m
Olsson, J WBA £0.5m
Collins, J WHM £0.5m
Rangel, A SWA £8m
Arteta, M ARS £16m
Silva, D MCY £32m
Osman, L EVE £0.5m
Henderson, J LIV £0.5m
Le Fondre, A REA £15m
Maloney, S WIG £1.5m
 Total £87m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Alcaraz, A WIG £0.5m Rangel, A SWA £8m
Welbeck, D MUN £7m Le Fondre, A REA £15m
Sturridge, D LIV £20m Maloney, S WIG £1.5m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

No changes

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Just Put Warsaw

Manager: Carles

Nationality: Catalunya

Domestic club side: Just Put Carles

Tournament history:

  • Doctor Khumlo 2010 World Cup: 4th (out of 15)

4-4-2

De Sanctis, M Italy £0.5m
Jones, P England £5m
Mexès, P France £8.5m
Gebreselassie, T Czech Republic £5.5m
Arbeloa, A Spain £11m
Moutinho, J Portugal £11m
Duff, D Rep of Ireland £4m
Katsouranis, K Greece £3m
van Bommel, M Holland £4.5m
Müller, T Germany £8m
Jelavic, N Croatia £21m
 Total £82m
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Just Put Carles (second window)

Just Put Carles made no transfers in the first or second window

Manager: Mr Carles Duz (CAT)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Barcelona, Fulham

Cech, P CHE £20m
Wilson, M STO £0.5m
Ward, S WLV £0.5m
Robinson, P BOL £0.5m
Walker, K TOT £0.5m
Gerrard, S LIV £26.5m
Silva, D MCY £22m
Coleman, S EVE £2.5m
Anderson MUN £0.5m
Zamora, B QPR £15.5m
Chamakh, M ARS £1.5m
£90.5m
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Just Put Carles (first window)

Just Put Carles made no transfers in the first window

Manager: Mr Carles Duz (CAT)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Barcelona, Fulham

Cech, P CHE £20m
Wilson, M STO £0.5m
Ward, S WLV £0.5m
Robinson, P BOL £0.5m
Walker, K TOT £0.5m
Gerrard, S LIV £26.5m
Silva, D MCY £22m
Coleman, S EVE £2.5m
Anderson MUN £0.5m
Zamora, B FUL £15.5m
Chamakh, M ARS £1.5m
£90.5m
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