MISSING journalist Jamal Khashoggi is expected to make a shock appearance at the Kenna League transfer window on Friday (19 October).
Turkish authorities alerted news outlets to Khashoggi’s disappearance earlier this month with allegations of undercover involvement by a Saudi Arabia government unhappy with the journalist’s criticism of the regime.
Sources inside Kenna HQ contradict that narrative.
They claim a set of CCTV stills proves beyond doubt the journalist was kidnapped by the Kenna HQ manager experiences department, a notorious wing of the fantasy football league’s apparatus involved in blackmail, kidnapping and ‘wet work’.
It is thought Khashoggi is set to make his debut as a Titus Bramble forfeit player at Friday’s window.
Khashoggi will join Jimmy Savile, Barry Bennell, Ian Brady, Rolf Harris, Harold Shipman and Stuart Hazell as a Bramble player, the others being released by managers ahead of today’s noon player release deadline.
A source at the Saudi consulate concurred with the Kenna HQ account in quotes cited reported by Al-Jazeera: “Khashoggi did visit the consulate but left via the back door. There were a few guys outside, he talked to them and then they got into a Hertz rental car. One of the guys looked a lot like Emanuel Pogatetz.
“Like we said, it’s just a total coincidence the Saudi consul decided to redecorate his residence afterwards.”
In a statement earlier, the Kenna chairman said: “To think the Saudis would abduct and murder a man on foreign soil just because he criticised the regime. How ridiculous! What’s next: Russian spies unleashing nerve agent in English cathedral cities?
“Anyway, we’re really getting our money’s worth out of that Saudi Arabia bunting we bought for the Kharine World Cup.”
A total of 18 players were released by managers today (below). As usual the auction spendthrift Dynamo Charlton manager takes the biggest war chest into the transfer window: £37.5m.
Khashoggi style – alternative journalist disappearance in pictures
Biggin Hill Airport – A private plane registered to Kenna HQ is spotted preparing for take off the night before Khashoggi’s disappearance.
Ataturk Airport, Istanbul – Members of the Kenna manager experiences department, including Clint Dempsey and Emanuel Pogatetz, are seen being waved through airport security.
North London – Jamal Khashoggi seen arriving at Kenna HQ this week under the watchful eye of manager experiences department ‘muscle’.
Released players and remaining budgets
*indicates a manager absent from the auction receiving the average remaining budget
|Manager||Releases||Remaining budget||Remaining budget (inc. bonus)||Auction attendance|
|Dynamo Charlton||Hernandez (WHU, ST)||27.5||37.5||Present|
|Dulwich Red Sox||None||19.5||29.5||Present|
|Lokomotiv Leeds||Fabinho (LIV, MF), Bonatini (WLV, ST)||18||28||Present|
|Dark Lord||Clyne (LIV, DF)||11.5||21.5||Present|
|Sporting Lesbian||Guaita (CRY, GK), Kongolo (HUD, DF), Schar (NEW, DF)||9||19||Present|
|The treasurer||Balogun (BTN, DF), Joselu (NEW, ST), Perez (WHU, ST)||8.5*||18.5||Absent|
|Newington Reds||Phil Jones (MUN, DF), Mawson (FUL, DF), Andre Gomes (EVE, MF)||8.5*||18.5||Absent|
|JPF||Lovren (LIV, DF), Moses (CHE, DF), Niasse (EVE, ST)||7||17||Present|
|Craving Cottaging||Ian Brady (BRM DF), Stuart Hazell (BRM, DF), Delph (MCY, MF), Gabbiadini (SOT, ST)||7||17||Present|
|Fat Ladies||Herrera (MUN, MF), Puncheon (CRY, MF)||4.5||14.5||Present|
|Mo Me The Mane||Barry Bennell (BRM, MF), Rolf Harris (BRM, ST)||3||13||Present|
|Cowley Casuals||Fredricks (WHU, DF), Lichsteiner (ARS, DF), Fred (MUN, MF)||3||13||Present|
|Still Don’t Know Yet||Batshuayi (VAL, ST), Romero (MUN, GK)||1.5||11.5||Present|
|Clotted Cream First||Lanzini (WHU, ST)||1||11||Present|
|Young Boys||Heaton (BUR, GK), Harold Shipman (BRM, MF), Llorente (TOT, ST)||0.5||10.5||Present|
|The Pirate||Danilo (MCY, DF), Besic (MID, MF), Wilshere (WHU, MF)||0.5||10.5||Present|
|Fadges||Christiansen (CHE, DF)||0||10||Present|
|Tottenham Network Solutions||Jimmy Savile (BRM, MF)||0||10||Present|